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i have a serious question!!!!

ok i am 21 years old and pregnant with my third child. but i have decided to give up this baby to a coulple ive known for a really long time. Am i wrong for doing this? i mean my nerves couldnt take another one, and i feel guilty... is this normal???

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Asked by irishmama0607 at 6:34 PM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Adoption

Level 4 (54 Credits)
Answers (49)
  • I feel that it is normal but you are doing the right thing. It is an act of love to hand over your child to someone else. I wish you all the very best.

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 6:37 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Just make sure you are ready to let go and it's something you won't regret.
    Make sure your not doing it for your spouse either.
    If it's what YOU want and you know you do it's not wrong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • If you truly don't wish to parent, don't feel bad. You're given this child life! I applaud you for not choosing abortion. And you're adding a little one to a family that will love him or her dearly.
    We're going through an adoption right now and if you need to talk, feel free to message me.

    Answer by Jill42721 at 6:52 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I'm a birthmother.. I suggest you join the groups "Pregnant and considering options," and "Birthmoms" before you make ANY decisions.

    Or if you would like you could add me as a friend.. you can read my posts, ask me questions, etc. I'm warning you.. you won't find happiness with most of our decisions we made to place our children up for adoption.

    Answer by rainfalls at 7:03 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I am an adoptive parent. I have been trying to concieve for 5 years now but no luck. My hubby and I decided to adopt and we are in the process of adoption. Last year before Thanksgiving, we almost adopt a baby boy, We were told that birth mom wants to give her baby away, I got to hold the baby in my arms, and I named him but the birth mom changed her mind, I went home with empty arms. So if this is something that you want to do, go for it. there are a lot of adoptive parents like me who can give your baby a great life but be very sure and I suggest that you seek a social worker who can be your advocate to help you with your decision.
    Best regards!

    Answer by GigglesRN69 at 7:10 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I agree with anonymous, if its a decision you made ovet time (not a snap decision) then its not wrong. Nomatter what people may tell you. The decision is yours. I'd recommend doing ALOT of research on adoption. And do not make any final decisions until after your baby is born.I knew a woman who I talked to before we got our baby. She said that her neice got pregnant, decided on adoption and picked a couple and everything. Then had her baby and could not do it. (nothing wrong with that). But that just goes to show you , you can't really be *sure* until after the baby is born and even then, some still aren't . Just take your time! No one else can tell you whats best.

    Answer by babycakes254 at 7:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • It's your decision - you know your own life and circumstances best. Don't let people talk you into or out of anything. If you do decide to place your child, that doesn't make you a bad person or wrong, it just means that after careful consideration, you've decided that would be the best direction.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 8:10 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Please, don't speak to anyone who HASN'T walked in a birth mother's shoes.. It's a completely different out look. I really suggest you speak with not just one.. but at least a couple of birth mothers.

    Like I said before.. you can PM me anytime..

    Answer by rainfalls at 9:12 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Also look into speaking with adoptees...

    Answer by rainfalls at 9:14 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • It is absolutely normal to feel guilty. You are absolutely not wrong to do what you are doing. What is worse are parents that know they have more than they can handle but take on more and are unable to care for the child. Only you know what is best and if adoption is what is best for you and the child then it is the right decision and you shouldn't feel guilty.

    Answer by Lovemybabies885 at 9:28 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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