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Need 2 Vent

When you know who you are and what you can and can't take. When you know what you can and can't stand for. What do you do? When you want whats best for your family and your SO only wants whats best for them and everyone else what do you do? When no one will budge what do you do? I'm not talking about where to eat. Or what to watch on television. I mean when two people can never come together on anything important concerning life, love and marriage. At what point do you call it a day, count your losses and move on? And at what point do you decide that you don't want your child living in a broken, divided home. Do you leave before your baby is born? Do you stay just for the sake of having a family? When both parties are not happy... When love is there but oneness is absent... WHAT?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You call it quits when the pain of staying is greater than the fear of leaving.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 7:56 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I would say that the two of you are on very different paths in life. Maybe it is time to take a break and for you both to evaluate the things that you want in life that you are not willing to compromise on. Why spend your life battling someone else because they want completely different things?
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 7:56 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Have you seen the movie "Waitress" this post reminds me of that. Just alittle different do what you have to do to make yourself happy.you rock

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 7:56 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Wow, you have a lot on your mind. I hope you feel a little better by getting it off of your chest.There comes a time when "you just know" when the time is right or wrong for you in this situation. No one can answer correctly, only you. One thing to think about is whether you will be happy with the choice you make.do what makes you happy. No one can make you happy but yourself.You will know when the time is right.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:57 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Get a piece of paper and a pen and make two columns. One of pluses and one of negatives. When the negative list outweighs the plus list, then time to talk with a minister or counselor or take steps on your own. Whether the steps involve breaking up and going your own way, or taking control of the life you have now, this is up to you. Good luck!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • This is what I did. I decided I would focus on how to live my best. I started to follow my faith by getting involved in a church. I got counseling. I learned that I had things I needed to work on and things I needed to change. I learned how to love my husband the way he was. I learned to be respectful. I am still learning. All I can tell you is we don't always agree but we don't fight like we used to, I am not screaming, depressed, and lonely like I used to be. We have always loved each other but we weren't one and I know there is still room for improvment. I wish it was different but it isn't. I stayed and worked and worked some more. I am commited to this marriage and keeping my children's family together. I would leave if there was adultery.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 8:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • LOL, Bmat and I were thinking the same thing. That's what my mother always use to say, Make those pro and con columns and weigh it all out.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:20 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • If your really that unhappy.... leave before the child has any knowledge of it, for their sake and yours.... start a new life....... and 'BE MORE PICKY NEXT TIME".... Learn Your Lesson....
    Kay300

    Answer by Kay300 at 8:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My dad has told me to make that list (I guess its an old school thing), but I have made it time and time again in my head and heart. I know that there is love. I would give my life for my family. I would lay it all on the line for us. But I KNOW that SO wouldn't. I want to stay but we are not happy. I no longer see right or wrong, black or white. I just see two people who want and see things too differently to commune peacefully. SO is happier when I'm not around and vice-versa. Our marriage has become a burden to us and our child. We can't go on like this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • staying together for the kids, alway ends up hurting the kids. if it's become a negative environment to live in, it's time to move on. 'but i love him' is not a good reason.
    jcsmummy

    Answer by jcsmummy at 9:13 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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