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Divorce and visitation. What can they do to the woman if she doesn't allow visitation with the ex.

I am getting a divorce from my husband. Visitation is required by the court and DOR/child enforcment. However, My soon to be ex is NOT the natural father. The ex adpoted my son when he was about 4 month old. My son is now 15 months old. I DO NOT trust my ex alone with my son more than 50 miles away. But I have no proof saying that my ex has done anything bad to my son. And what he's done to me was only verbal so no one can do anything about it. :(

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SillyMomma

Asked by SillyMomma at 8:14 PM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 9 (324 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • You need to get proof or you could be arrested for contempt of court. If you have qualms about him report him to CPS and have them do an investigation and get a Protection Order for the child. that might stall for time and keep him away. Perhaps he doesn't really want to see the child after the divorce.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:17 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • You will be arrested and possibly charged with kidnapping.
    Southerncharmes

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 8:22 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • They'll hold you in contempt of court..... after your ex goes back to his lawyer and they file on you. By law you are responsible for seeing to it the the child is presented and available for the visitation. You can't get around it. And the fact that he is not the child's biological dad, but adopted him means nothing to the court except that he is the dad. Period. You're gonna have to either: (A.) Deny him visitation and risk the consequences, or (B.) do as admckenzie suggested and go about it a legal way..... but you're still gonna have to present that child for visitation WHILE you go through the process...... sorry. Wish there were better answers for you.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 8:28 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Unfortunately, you have to let him have the visitation or you will be held in contempt, which could lead to jail, therefore putting your child with him even more. If you have any proof at all, present it. Even verbal stuff, if you have any witnesses or anything. Otherwise, as a pp suggested, call CPS and have them investigate. If nothing else, at least that will let him know he's being watched and hopefully keep him from doing anything he shouldn't.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:29 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • You will be arrested for violation of a court order. Doesn't matter if he's the bio dad or not, because he's his LEGAL parent. The best you can do is to get supervised visitation IF you have proof that he's not fit to be alone with the child.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:30 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Since he adopted the child, he may not be the biological child but he is the legal father so that's a moot point.

    You must follow the court agreement or you could be risking losing custody all together. Be found in contempt enough times and the courts will approve a custody change. If you file with CPS and have no grounds you will look like the vindictive ex, and again, the courts won't go kindly on you.

    You need to consult with a lawyer about your options. You may have none until you have concrete proof that your ex is a threat to your kiddo.

    Yes, it sucks. No, it's not fair. But acting in a rash manner will bite you in the butt. Sometime keeping your cool while gathering info is all you can do. Once you have it you hit with both barrels.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 8:32 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I'll be completely Honest with you..... Women withhold the kids alot... and the Court System doesn't do anything to them.......... I would tell your Ex, your not comfortable right now with overnight stays.... and You set the Schedule.......... Women don't stick to the court ordered things at all...... everywhere.... and nothing seems to happen to them....... But, the Ex, might work with you if you aren't a BITCH about it.... and like I said... with his age... ask if you could start with no overnights and see how its goes.
    Kay300

    Answer by Kay300 at 8:34 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • You will be held in contempt of court and possibly lose your rights. It doesn't happen often but there are better ways to go about it like taking your concerns to the state or by legally asking the court for supervised visitation. It is hard to send your kids with someone you don't trust. I was forced to do so even though I knew my children were being abused because CPS was involved and they said the kids were safe. It was horrible but it did finally work out. If you can get as much proof as you can quickly and pray a lot.
    t3dragonflies

    Answer by t3dragonflies at 10:11 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My husband's ex had my husband on supervised visits for 2 years (she was a liar though and told the court he abused her and the court believed it) She disrupted visits and dragged the process out for a couple years until her lies came out and he now gets weekend visits. You can try to get supervised visits; he is the legal parent, and if he's never done anything then the court can't do anything. If the visitation goes into a court order and you don't let him have visits, your custody can be taken away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Figure your stufff out! Youare not playing a legal stance... OR you will ahve problems...
    jennieo622

    Answer by jennieo622 at 10:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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