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How long is a good time to wait til you have your second child??

My daughter is 10 months old. I am stuck on having only 1 child now that she is here. She is awesome! She is always so well behaved and I just can't imagine having another and her changing into a demon child like some say happen. I just want to have 1 so we can afford everything she'll need w/o any problems, as for if we have more then it limit what they both can have?I just don't want her to be lonely, but I don't want her to behave badly for attention as some say happens when a bro/sis is added to the picture. My husband wants another so badly NOW and I'm not ready. Like I said before I'm not positive if I want another?What do you suggest?*How long did you wait til you had your 2nd? Would you have waited longer?*If you only chose to have one, would you change it? Lonely?Spoiled?

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Asked by MarlasMommy at 10:27 PM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (10)
  • My decision was pretty much made for me because of medical issues, so I will have only one child. I really really wanted another one till about a year ago though. Now that my little boy is 2 1/2 and has a mind of his own, I am sometimes glad I could only have one. LOL He is a really really well behaved kid and doesn't get in much trouble, but he is still a handful the older he gets. If things had been ideal though, I would have waited the recommended 18 months between pregnancies. They say if you get pregnant before 18 months then you and the baby are at more risks for certain things. I was already incredibly high risk, so I played everything safe. Good luck to you in making your decision. Your DD is still young and you don't have to make the decision now.

    Answer by AlliO2 at 10:32 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I think at least 2 years. I personally am going to wait 4, if we have another.

    Answer by theosgirl45 at 10:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My son is 3 1/2. We started trying 7 months ago to have another, just found out last we we finally did it. I think never wait to long, because you never know how long it will take. I think 2 to 3 years is best for our family, but I don't think you can go into mother hood half hearted. If your heart isn't there wait a bit longer.


    Answer by Simonsmama at 10:35 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • i would say any wheres between 2- 4 years or soon depending on you but no more than 5 .... children only act out and act badly because there parents let them get away with it

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • We started trying when our son was 9 months old... we didn't want them to be too far apart. We didn't actually conceive until he was 18 months old. I have heard that 2 years is pretty good, but it is really something that you have to be ready for. It is something that is different for each family. I want 4 kids, but if you only want one, then that is what is right for you.

    Answer by reflect1light at 10:43 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Our rule is going to be, no new babies until the one before it is potty trained. So, I'm hoping Zackary is potty trained by two and a half, so he can have a baby brother or sister when he is a little over 3.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 11:07 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • For me... I know I wanted two children before I turned 30. I wanted more than one for sure because I'm the only child. I have a 13 month old daughter and I'm 21 weeks pregnant with a boy! So, one of each is perfect! I wanted my kids close in age too. My hubby and I are very excited!

    Answer by GreekMama28 at 11:44 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My son was 2 and a half when he sister was born. He LOVES being a big brother. He never turned into a demon. He was an easy going kid, he's still an easy going kid. He's very protective of her, and they are the best of friends. Two and a half was a good age because he understood when I couldn't get him something right away because I was nursing, and he was old enough to feed himself if I made him cereal or something similar. We're having our third, literally, tomorrow. Now my son is 4 and a half, my daughter is two. Fun times in our house! :)

    Answer by Serafyna at 12:12 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I got pregnant when our son was 14 months - it was a bit of a surprise & I thought I had lost my mind while I was pregnant!! However, he's a great big brother, and I love them being so close in age - they are each 22 1/2 months apart. Yes it was crazy having 3 kids under 4 for awhile, but it's getting better now that they're getting older (they're 6, 4, & 2).

    Answer by Navywifenmom at 3:03 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Thank you guys so much! Alot of what was said gives me alot of insight into the way I was feeling. We wanted a boy to begin with and when we had a girl I melted! She has us both wrapped around her little fingers. I just adore her so much, and I am afraid to have favoritism or anything like that..... Any of you ever notice you do anything like that with a second child? But we are thinking 2 years or so, but as a mother stated above I know for sure that I don't want another til my heart is ready for another, and that my heart is FULLY into it. Cause my husband wants a boy & a girl, but what if we have another girl? Does that mean he wants 3? I just don't want to keep having children just to have a certain sex baby................ The sex doesn't matter to me, as long as they are healthy I am as happy as can be!

    Answer by MarlasMommy at 9:44 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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