Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I be bitter?

Here's what happened. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage, their dad hightailed it out. I sold all of their baby stuff to survive. (once they could no longer use it of course.) My new DH had a DD from a previous, but it turned out she wasn't his. We were expecting the same time his sister was. (her first.) She was thrown a lavish baby shower that I attended. No one threw us one, although they knew we had nothing. We received maybe ten gifts from his family (excluding his stepmom, his stepmom tried to keep gifts fair.) We went to garage sales to get most of our stuff (and from my mom) but I can't help being a little jealous. I saw everything she got, and she wanted for nothing. His mother bought us a new playpen, but she bought his sister a TON of stuff. Am I wrong to feel left out?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (17)
  • no, but why didnt you make someone throw you a shower? no one would have thrown me one if i didnt pester my mom about it! or thrown one yourself :] i know it may be bad ettiquette but if you had nothing it was necessary!

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:20 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I think in this situation, it's natural to feel a little left out.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 1:20 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I think a little, yes.

    This is your in-law's daughter's first baby - why can't they celebrate?


    Answer by Wimsey at 1:20 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • and by no i meant no its not wrong to feel left out

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:20 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • i agree with wimsey but i guess i kinda understand im not having a baby shower at all no presents to help nothing and this is his side of the famlies first grandbaby period

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Wrong Anon 1:22. I had my daughter first. SHE was the first grandbaby. I feel like she was ignored. They said that people didn't get showers for their third child.....but it was my DH's first. I know they had a "shower" for his ex, but it still feels wrong. Yes, they should celebrate his sister's child, which is why I went and provided gifts. I love my nephew, but it seems he gets the royal treatment, even now, 6 months later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • i asked a similar question and people are gonna say youre acting selfish and since its not your first you shouldnt have a baby shower. i feel for you and you're not wrong for feeling left out. but remember this, you're just the inlaw. your sister inlaw is their family and they're gonna spoil family first.. i would definately thank the step mom and his mom for buying your baby a gift. im in the same boat you are..expecting #3 and have nothing.

    Answer by tnteaton at 1:29 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • what the hell was i wrong about i didnt say shit about who was born first in you family i said im not getting shit either and mine is the first in his family that would be our family so i dont know why im wrong i think i know my family better

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Good freakin' lord woman, I read your answer wrong, no reason to curse at me. WOW, I seriously hope your pregs now, the only way I could excuse you flyin' off the handle.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I can see where your coming from. I'd be hurt and bitter about it myself. It may have been your 3rd but like you said it was DH's first. And Ive never heard anything about not having a shower for your 3rd??? I thought you could do what you wanted and it was a free world and if this mom that posted the wuestion wanted to have a shower thenshe should. But YES Id definitly be pissed off!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.