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if i have sole custody of my 16 month old and his dad is trying to get me sign for shared is my son too young to be away from me?

for shared custody do i have to have that if it's not court order?

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Asked by sdj35 at 1:53 AM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (9)
  • If you have sole custody, there is probably a good reason for it. You don't have to agree to it if it's not a court order, but to keep things civil, maybe you could try to work something out. Maybe you could try day visit for awhile, but not overnights.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 1:56 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • It's very hard on them at this age because they don't understand what is happening. Sometimes they become emotional or sad. It's best to keep their schedule as regular as possible. Day visits would be good, but over night visits will probably be too stressful on him.

    Answer by jenn714 at 3:01 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • If it's not in the court order, no you don't have to do it.

    Is he too young? Not really. There are babies out there with parents with shared custody.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 5:52 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • if its not a court order then you don't have to do anything. If you don't want to sign for shared custody then make sure you make him take you to court. However if you want to keep things civil and his dad is an ok guy.. you can always let him take him for a day out of the weekend, or for an afternoon or something like that. At 16 months your child is definitely old enough to be away from you, you just have to ensure that its a safe age appropriate environment for him. I would definitely say no overnights, and make it short at first since the baby's used to being with you all the time. It may take a few visits for the baby to be ok with going away with you, maybe you could start as an afternoon at the park where you're all together and the baby will feel more secure.

    Answer by kristal2146 at 9:37 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • At this age it's not bad. This is the age I recommend starting day care so the kids get used to being away from you and dealing with new people. If your child hasn't been away from you yet, I would recommend working with the father to do just day visits and work up to short night visits (over a month or two. No need to prolong it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Why doesnt he need his dad just as much as his mom?

    Answer by sweet-a-kins at 10:47 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • as heard as it is- he needs his daddy in his life just as much as his mommy. i am going through something simmilar-its difficult.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • For very good reason, my son's father is only allowed day time visits, until my son is 2 then he will get him over-night. We worked this out with the court; it is in our custody agreement. He come on the 1st 3rd and 5th Sunday from 1-5 for 10 supervised visits, then he gets him unsupervised for 10 visits, then he will be allowed to take him from 8am-6pm for 13 visits, at that time he will be 2 and he will start getting him from Sat at 6pm -Sun at 6 pm for 10 visits.. if all goes well we will then have the standard visitation schedule.

    You could work something out like that.. I dont know why he has no visitation right but if it was just because he didnt want them, and had a change of heart; I agree with some posters above; kids deserve to have their Dads :-) Good Luck

    Answer by AMsMommy212 at 11:18 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I personally would keep sole custody and just make a casual under the table arrangement. That way if anything goes wrong you don't have to contact a lawyer to get sole custody back. This may be selfish but its what I would do.

    Answer by Farrahann at 1:59 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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