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Are you close to your children?

I am very close to my children. I homeschool them, we have fun together. I love being with them and they love being with me. I know that my children are, from other peoples views, needy. What I don't understand, is what is wrong with your children needing their mom and dad? I feel my oldest has outgrown his neediness and we have let him. My youngest has not and still needs to be held sometimes and cuddled. (She is 9.) I would have loved to have gotten that love at her age. Why is this wrong?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Jan. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • We homeschool too and I am very close to both of my kids. I am also very close to my own mother. She was and still is one of my closest friends and one of the first people I turn to for just about everything. There's nothing wrong with a close knit family!

    I don't pay any attention to what other people think. I know in my heart that I'm doing what is best for me and my family. And I have to admit to feeling a tiny bit smug when those same people who told me I was "spoiling" my kids when they were young now tell me they wish they could be as close to their children as I am to mine.
    jessradtke

    Answer by jessradtke at 11:26 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I'm pretty close to my daughter too. She's 13. We spent so long with just the 2 of us, I always told her, no matter what, her and I are a team. She's getting her independence now, but she is still very open and honest with me about boys and school and tough issues that she deals with. I think its much nicer than the relationship I had with my parents.
    jdrae13

    Answer by jdrae13 at 2:32 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Nothing is wrong with it. i'm very close to my children too and I love it!

    The only time it really bothers me is when we are at a party or something and my children become very needy, but we are working on this:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I'm close to my children older and younger. I want them to be able to come to me with their problems when they just need to talk something out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I homeschool too and we're pretty close. My oldest isn't needy at all (5)....my middle child has his needy moments (4)....my youngest (2) is still really needy at this point.

    Ignore people who think or say those things. They're probably just jealous that they don't have that kind of relationship with their own children.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:10 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I don't homeschool my children because my life will not allow it but I am super close with all 3 of my kids. There is nothing wrong with it. My oldest is 9, then I have a 5 yo and a 19 mo. We cuddle a lot and sometimes I let them crash with me when hubby isn't home for the night due to work. The only time I think it is a problem for me personally is I think sometimes the boundary of mom and friend gets mixed up esp. when it comes to asking them to do chores. We do activities a lot together, projects etc.
    upintrees

    Answer by upintrees at 9:14 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • nothing wrong with that i hope my kids will need me and be comfortable coming to me when they need help. of course i will teach them to be independent but at the same time i want them to know mommy is always here for them even when they are adults. i really close to my kids and i would rather them be needy then believe they need more love from me
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 10:04 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • It is not wrong to be close to your children, or to even hug and cuddle them (at any age, really!). The only thing that would be wrong (and I think this is what confuses people about it) would be if the parents are keeping the children dependent on them to fulfill the needs of the parent. This can be done in many ways....and unfortunately is done in many cases. If the parent holds on to their children too tightly to meet their own unfulfilled needs. This is unfair because it doesn't allow the children to develop as they should be developing. I don't know you or your kids, but the red flag in your question is that your children are "needy". All kids need their parents and should know they can always depend on them as well. But there is a difference between that and neediness. I guess it depends on whether you see kids as individuals, and how you see the boundaries between parent and child.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 10:29 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Actually, both of us are pretty close to all three, 6, 9 &10. In fact it's actually funny that you should ask this ? because for a while, I thought my oldest daughter (9) and I didn't have a strong bond because she's spending more time with her friends but SHE recently CAME TO ME asking if I could explain the "facts of life" to her. I was sooo excited (as well as nervous lol) that she did. So, now, I feel like we're a lot tighter than I thought we were. And I agree that as much as there's nothing wrong with being close to your children, we also need to teach them independence and the skills they need to be responsible, mature and caring adults.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 11:47 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • My 12 yr old likes to snuggle. I don't homeschool and I weaned him by 1. I think kids do well being loved appropriately by their parents. Let the haters hate and you just love your kids!
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:41 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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