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No more kids?!

Im 32. I've been with my SO for 14 years and we have my teen daughter, his teen son, my teen cousin, (fostering), and our 5 month old son. I'm type 1 diabetic and was considered high risk during my last pregnancy becuase of the diabetes. When I delivered, my uterus inverted (turned inside out) and my mom freaked. Now when we discuss me having more kids, she gets so angry and it always leads to an arguement. She says I'm just being selfish, because something could happen to me. Dont we all run that risk?

 
jdrae13

Asked by jdrae13 at 5:22 AM on Jan. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 6 (131 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Thats up to you if you have enough, but, I do understand what your mom is saying too and you shoud look at it too.You are hers and she doesn't want anything to happen to you. I know you are married and a mom and all that, but, you are still her daughter and thats the way she is thinking. she doesn't want to lose you and she is scared of that. Don't just blow her off, listen to what she says and try to understand what she is saying and why she is saying it. I am sure there is nothing in the world worse than losing your child and even thinking about i makes me sick, and I am sure your mom gets sick at the thought of losing you.How would you feel if this were your daughter going thru it.
    Katalena

    Answer by Katalena at 5:57 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • CONTINUED...And she says I'm not thinking about the kids I do have already. I don't see it that way. I love my kids, and I think if we can handle more, why not? I feel so torn about this. My SO says not to let it bother me, but how can I not? BTW, the Drs didnt see a problem with me having more, they just said I need to advise the OB of the inverted uterus and watch my kidney function. What do you think? Am I being selfish? Should I just be happy with what I have already?
    jdrae13

    Answer by jdrae13 at 5:23 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • i say if you and your SO wants more kids do it.. and if you need help from time to time im sure the older kids will help out. if you have more kids thats your choice tell your mom its your life you are 32 not 17.
    pinkanfgrl

    Answer by pinkanfgrl at 5:54 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Diabetes is a dangerous disease and most doctors will tell you to think about it. Kidney failure is for life. My sister has that and is on dialysis. She has never been the same since. Your mother is only thinking of you. If something happens to you, she would be devastated. My mom is 74 and she said, " Kids are not suppose to go before their mother." She said this about my sister. So, think long and hard about it. Also ask lots of questions of your doctor. Check around and find out the problems that could and sometimes does occur. Good luck in whatever you decide and God Bless. pommom335
    POMMOM335

    Answer by POMMOM335 at 6:26 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • This is a sticky situation as is, and your mother should respect that. If you and your SO have thought about it and weighed all you options and risks and have discussed it with your Doctor, then the choice is yours. Your mother is scared, maybe reassure her that you understand her fear, but that the decision is yours and SO's to make, and reassure her that you have thought about it and talked to the doctor, and that the best thing for her is to support your decision so that it will be less stressful for everyone! Good Luck to you!
    Rebecca727

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 8:34 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Ever see Steel Magnolias? This is kind of what your story reminds me of. I see your point of view but I also see you moms as well. I am also 32. I couldn't imagine being on dialysis the rest of my life. I wonder if you could consider a surrogate?? Maybe that is too far fetched.
    upintrees

    Answer by upintrees at 9:11 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I would talk it over with the docs and your SO. Discuss all the possible problems and the likelihood of them happening. At that point then make your decision. I understand that your mother's POV bothers you, but if you are comfortable with your decision then go for it. Maybe bring your mother in to talk with the doctors and help ease her fears a little. Remember you are still her "little girl" whether you are a mom now or not!

    Personally from the limited information you gave I would be happy with what I have and maybe think about adopting or fostering.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:30 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I understand both sides. Make a list of questions about any and all possible concerns and talk to your Dr. and SO and go from there. If your Dr. thinks things should be OK as long as you take it easy and 'follow your Dr.s orders) and you and SO think you can handle another, then I say go ahead but only if your Dr. thinks it will be safe. And like aeneva stated, try to see your mother's POV in the sense that if it were your daughter, you would support her in what ever she decides but will be concerned about her health and that of her baby. And although previous high risk pregnancies are a bit more concerning, all pregnancies come with risk. Hope this helps some.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:12 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I think as long as you and your SO are in agreement, and the doctors feel that it is safe that your mother should respect your decision. I understand where you are coming from. My mother thinks it's ridiculous that I had my children so close together and told my doctor when I delivered my last one that if I didn't get a tubal she'd "kick my butt."
    Silvertears1275

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 1:19 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • It's your life and your risk. If your eyes are open, this is the USA and you can breed if you want to.
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:26 PM on Jan. 19, 2009