Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

hi has anyone been through abortion? medical?

sad to say i am going through it right now, i have 5 kids already and i decided i didn't want anymore kids, last monday i had an appointment for a mirena IUD insertion but it turned out that i'm pregnant how can i get through this without feeling guilt all over , please advice.....

Answer Question

Asked by maggie78 at 9:12 AM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think you will always have that guilt. A friend of mine had an abortion and she still feels guilt about it and its been 5 years ago. Buts its your choice and you do what you think is right for you. Good luck with your choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Its your choice; but in the end is it really worth destroying a life because you dont want another kid?..... maybe you should have taken precautions until you knew you were getting the mirena ; good luck because its gonna be hard and i hope you dont live with regret from it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • how can you kill something that didn't ask too even be here in the first place can you honestly look at one of the 5 kids you got now and pick just one of them and kill them suck the air right out of there lungs there are other options too this then abortion you can put up for adoption

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • It is your legal choice, but I highly recommend reconsidering it. You say you'll feel guilty; that's the kind guilt that just doesn't go away (I know a few people who have had abortions years ago and still feel the guilt, and there are books where post-abortiive women share their abortion stories (I saw a recent stat. that said that up to 93% of women regret their abortions?)) Are there financial/social/medical/etc. barriers to your being pregnant? There is so much help out there for women to carry their babies to term, and so many choices regarding adoption; it's just that many women don't know about them. I'll go look up some phone numbers and websites for you. 5 kids! You are a strong woman, Mama; research and think about this long and hard before making any permanent decisions. Please PM me anytime. Here's a website I remember off the top of my head, check it out:

    Answer by NurseKim at 9:48 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I had one almost a year ago and still think about it sometimes. I already have 1 child and wasnt ready for another one. Just know, IT IS YOUR CHOICE! However, it was the most miserable experience of my life! It hurt really really bad and on top of that you already feel extremely bad for what you are doing. You will feel guilty...but with 5 kids already, I don't blame you for your decision. It also messed up my period for a few months...And depending where you go, it can be pretty expensive--mine was $430. Just make sure you go to a legit place! Good luck with your choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Here are some links to national websites...there are toll-free numbers you can call to speak with someone regarding your options, questions (various choices, medical info about fetal development, etc.), and info about centers that can help you which are located close to you:

    On the website, there are many links to testimonies told by women who regret their abortions, and also links to organizations which help women with the healing process if they've had a previous abortion.

    Please check these out, and PM me anytime.

    Answer by NurseKim at 10:30 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I had a friend commit suicide a few yrs after aborting. Most people I know regret it deeply. I would urge you to reconsider. I am sorry this happened to you so unexpectedly.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 10:40 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Oh, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's tough to be a mom, especially of a lot of kids (I have 4).... Do you have anyone to help you? There is a good support group on her called "Mommies of 4 or more" filled with great advice!
    You already know in your heart that an abortion is not the answer. It will be hard, but you can do it. You just need to surround yourself with people that can be supportive and help you.

    Answer by christyg at 10:59 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Make the choice that is best for you. Everyone has their own opinion in this topic so just do what is best for you. And if you do decided to go to someone for counseling make sure that they are a neutral party. The websites that were provided above are very biased and may end up making your decision more difficult. Places like planned parent hood and your local abortion clinic give you unbiased information and also provide counselors who can help you with your decision. Whatever you decided it will be difficult but just make sure you are making the decision for you and not for anyone else. Good Luck!

    Answer by studentmom27 at 2:47 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Unfortunately, any resource you use will be biased. There are prolife organizations which are religious-based, and prolife organizations which believe that abortion is wrong with few if no ties to religion (such as the feministforlife website above, gays/lesbians for life websites, atheists for life websites, and more).
    Organizations which believe that abortion is a woman's right are biased, is a large incentive, whether the money refers to the salaries of abortionists and other personnel, people who believe strongly in population control, or those who believe that the right to bear children belongs only to those women able to provide their child(ren) with a certain standard of living, often above what the majority of families can truly provide, anyway. Other biases exist, too, on both sides of the issue.
    (continued next, due to limited answer size)

    Answer by NurseKim at 6:18 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.