Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What about a stepdaddy?

I am a single parent to a certian extent. His dad lives out of town and we are not together anymore. I am in a new relationship and he has kids of his own, but I'm not sure how to act about him interacting with my son. I want him to have a male rolemodel.... Help!

Answer Question
 
Khyries_Mommy

Asked by Khyries_Mommy at 9:45 AM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I'm not sure what you're asking really. How old is your son? He isn't married to you so stepdaddy kinda isn't the way to think of it, but a mentor, a friend... with him having kids of his own, he'll likely just treat him the same way he does his own. Don't push the issue, don't rush it, he may not want to be a daddy figure yet.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:50 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • If its a new relationship you should wait. Introducing men to your childs life should never be done lightly even with the best of intentions to give him a daddy. You need to see if this person will be in your life longterm, know who they are longterm, and wait to introduce the child until there is a commitment that will last longer then a yr. It is tremendously BAD for a child to be introduced to someone else only to have them leave and then start over again with another guy and another and another. Thats why its wise to wait before introductions.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:00 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Let him play with your kid like you would let anyone else... I wouldn't make it into any big deal until you've been together for awhile and you know its going to work... you don't want dudes in and out as step dads all the time. I would hold on the step dad until you two are to the point of moving in together things like that.
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 10:06 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • From my own experience I would give your child time and your boyfriend. I waited 2 months before I introduced my NOW hubby to my boys. I sat down with my boys, had a talk with them, told them all about him and let them have a say. I made it clear I will take all their feelings into consideration. And that if they felt funny around him that it's ok and they can just go play. I told them everything about him, what he does, likes , his dogs, etc... So that when the first meeting came they didn't feel like they didn't know him. It was so easy, and there was one thing that my hubby said back then, he said "the boys don't have to prove themselves to me, I have to prove myself to them" Now they love him soooo much and say they have 2 Dads now!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I guess I just want someone to expriance the whole parenting thing with... But I understand that this isant somthing that I should take lightly. I grew up with out a father so I never wanted that for my son. Im just going to take it as it is and see what happens!!! Thank you!
    Khyries_Mommy

    Answer by Khyries_Mommy at 11:30 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.