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How do you explain a sibling moving to a 3 yr old.

My oldest who turned 18 moved out. She was kinda close to my 3 yr old son. He seems to have adjusted to her moving he does not ask about her or where she is nothing. Thats whats kinda weirding me out its as if he has just forgotten about her. i have told him that she moved out and sometimes he gets angry and says "bad mamma" like when i moved her bed and such but then after that nothing. when she calls which is sporadic he does not want to talk to her. Now she is wanting to take him to where she is staying at, but i dont want her to. I told her that i have to be there. she has a tendency to make him feel bad too because she is gone...with the i miss you do you miss me?? so i am supposed to take him to the park this weekend what should i do if he gets angry when he sees her or she tries to make him feel bad???

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Asked by paulierox at 10:27 AM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (3)
  • Visiting her is good so he doesn't forget who she is... and he's not going to understand that shes trying to make him feel bad. And maybe you should point out to her that hes only 3 and he'll forget her if she doesn't come around.

    Answer by dtetz at 10:31 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Awww... that's so sad! :( I would definitely encourage her to visit, and you should take him to visit her. Maybe you can get him to make her a card or let him doodle on a letter that you write to her. Kaden, my 5 yr old, was DEVASTATED when our Pastor left. Even though he had time to prepare for it, he cried for weeks. We write a letter to him every couple weeks and Kaden decorates it with stickers, doodles, etc. I also let him pick out a picture or two to send. Pastor Bret really enjoys getting the letters and Kaden feels like a million bucks when he gets a letter in return!

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 10:39 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Was he prepared for the move? Has anyone talked to him about it? He is old enough to understand the move but he sounds younger than three when he says, "bad mamma". Is there a reason for that? 3 yo's have trouble understanding a separation like death because they think the person will come back. Perhaps with a situation like this, he is sure she will come back so it doesn't bother him. It would be good to see her place and have a different relationship with her. It's ok, I think, for her to ask if he misses her and to tell him she misses him. That's a natural question. If he says no and she is upset with him because he doesn't then it isn't healthy.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 12:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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