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Torn by my feelings

I've been married to a great and loving man whos been faithfull, but I feel like somehting is lacking in our marriage, and I'm sad to say that another man is catching my attition, hes a guy I work with and hes so sweet to me every time he sees me, he makes me feel good about myself, but my husband does to sometimes..... I really like this other guy but I want to not have anything to do with him but I work with him, what do I do........I've asked my husband to stop to stop drinking many times and he wont, the only time hes not pissed at the world is when hes drinking his first beer and after that the little things piss him off and he snaps..I hate the person he becomes when he drinks and the person he is sober....I'm so confused


Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Sounds to me like you and you DH need to sit down and have a nice LONG conversation about the way his drinking is driving you away. And possibly in to the arms of another man. He needs to decide whether his love for the alcohol or his love for you is stronger.
    Maybe some AAA, and marriage counseling!
    Good luck to you!

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 12:25 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Sounds like he needs rehab and you need time to think and you both need to go to counseling together as a couple.

    Answer by Peekalou at 12:20 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Many times we find a haven with others when life at home isn't so peachy. Tell hubby that his drinking is causing problems and if he doesn't get a handle on it then you are thinking of leaving him. Perhaps the reality of losing you might make him stop and think and make the decision to put his energy into the marriage and not into the drinking.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:22 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Did you say you hate the person your husband is drunk or sober? That's a problem. It would be really nice if we could just drop them off at rehab, but unfortunately, only he can make that decision. You can tell him.... and you can start attending AL-ANON even if he won't go to AA. That's YOUR first step.... about this other guy? You gotta resist that temptation... You're married to a man with a drinking problem, and maybe an anger problem.... you are in no shape yourself to start a new relationship. You chose a guy who "treats you good...except" ..... are you the best judge of character right now? Probably not... Normally I'm sure you're fine... but we choose men in patterns. You gotta break the pattern first.... start with AL-ANON. Leave the other guy the hell alone.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 12:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I mean to say I hate the person he is drinking and I love the person he is sober..sorry

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • a man isn't going to change his drinking habits over night... but I think you need to tell him that drinking isn't going to fix any of his problems... they will just be there the next day when he wakes up. If he wants them to be fixed, he has to communicate with you what his problems are so that you can work together on trying to fix them.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:14 PM on Jan. 19, 2009