Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How many of you are on the opposite side of the "more children" question than your SO?

Dh and I have 3 kids. After our last I wanted one more. He didn't. Then for the loooongest time neither of us wanted another one. I got an IUD and we scheduled him for a Vasectomy. Well, long story short, I'm now possibly facing a hysterectomy due to medical problems and we cancelled his V because we weren't sure we were done. I go back and forth all the time. He's basically always saying it's completely up to me now. He will be happy either way.

Well last night he whispered in my ear that he really wants to have another baby. He wants a boy badly. I do to. But I really don't know that I want another child. So now he wants one and I don't.

Anyone else's hubby want one more and they don't want any? Or is it opposite in your house? Or do you both agree on what to do?

Answer Question
 
munch12502

Asked by munch12502 at 12:17 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • We both sort of agree. Right now two is perfect but we aren't doing anything permanent because we don't know a few years from now. I know I will want 1 more, he thinks he wont lol. :/

    I just say, talk it out. With the idea of never being able to have another child he could be getting nostalgic you know?
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 12:33 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • We have three. I had a tubal after our youngest and it was a mutual decision. But more importantly, your health comes first. But IMO, the more children you have, it makes a little harder to give them each the quality time they need and to find a balance. JMO.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:51 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • i have four, and i want another one, hubby doesn't, but since i had a tubal after the last one, hubby wins on that one
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 1:08 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • We have 5 boys and are going to try one last time for a boy in about 3years. I know i want one more but i think he wants 2 or 3. We both had smallish families. He has a brother and i have 2 brothers. So i don't know maybe we will have twins it does run in the family.
    Mummytomore

    Answer by Mummytomore at 1:36 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • My husband wants at least one more, although he'd be thrilled to have ten more! I have had a number of miscarriages and our children that we do have are adopted. I've lost a lot of weight and my nurse practicioner said it would be a good time to try and concieve because I'm more likely to have healthy pregnancy now. I just couldn't imagine myself with another baby right now and I all but demaned she refill my birth control rx. (We have 3 year old twins.) DH was not happy about that, but he's not the one home all day with two restless toddlers. I have a feeling I haven't heard the end of this, though.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 2:27 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I want more children, at least 2 more actually (we only have one), but DH doesn't want anymore at all. If we were to have more children, it would have to be by either fostering or adoption b/c I cannot have any more children myself because of a health issue (our son was a complete surprise as it was). I don't feel it is fair that he can unilaterally make this decision, and I'm at a loss as to what to do; it's not like I can just go out and adopt a child all by myself, y'know? DH won't even discuss the issue with me, and that hurts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I've been wishing for another girl for my 11 yr old daughter to share a room with,but sadly i can't hubby cured that with me having a tubal.
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 3:20 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I have two daughters (8 and 3) and we are thinking about having a 3rd. But Like you I'm on the fence.. do i really want to go through all the late night feedings, the crying the potty training all over again? am I emotionally ready for a 3rd? I can't say. We aren't using any type of protection at all right now.(never have) but i haven't been able to get pregnant either (for a while i was very obsessed with having another baby) Our lives are soo buzy right now that we barely ever have sex.. so that's kinda making the choice for us! Talk it out.. it's the best way.
    MyIslandGirls

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 6:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • We have just 1 child. Our daughter is 3 years old. I want just 1 more but my DH is totally insistent on no more kids. He keeps a tight wrap on me and buying and making sure Im using my birth control. I've been on the NuvaRing for 3 years since my daughter was born........

    its a soft subject for me because Im totally jealous of all pregnant women and small babies, I yearn for another one, every month I absolutely cry and get depressed when my period shows up (im hoping I will accidently get prego on BC, that happens and he cant get mad about it!) Ive even thought about leaving him to get my 2nd child but I want it with him to be full blooded sibling with my daughter and i love my husband, I want our family together. Do i pick him or my dream of having child #2? the age gap would already be so big in my mind!! HELP!! message me please.
    ladysylpher

    Answer by ladysylpher at 7:30 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I am just going through this now. Hubby says he is NOT saying No he is saying NOT RIGHT NOW....lol. I want another one NOW! We have a three year old and I am worried about the age difference being too big a gap. I wanted to have another by now and so as it is i have been waiting awhile. But he says we can not afford another one right now and I suppose he is right! Still we made a deal to TTC when DD is five at the latest!
    huniebearsmama

    Answer by huniebearsmama at 3:21 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.