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Husband problems

I have been married for 1 year, and we have a wonderful 2 month old son. My husband doesn't have much patience when it comes to crying and stuff like that, and I get on his case about it all the time but it doesn't seem to phase him. He has even yelled at him a few times. This really bothers me. I stay at home with our son all day, and try to leave him with his father for a little bit at night to get some things done around the house, but I can't even seem to do that. We argue all the time, and I have thought about leaving, but don't know if I can make it being a single mom. Any suggestions??

Answer Question
 
sweetjpea

Asked by sweetjpea at 2:05 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 9 (367 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Well having a baby, getting married, moving and losing a loved one and changing jobs are the biggest stressors in peoples lives. You got married and had a baby in a year. So yeah, theres going to be some problems. I would see if maybe you can sit down and try talking to him about the problems and changes you want to see. I would also be honest and say I have even thought of leaving. Sometimes just bringing it to their attn works. If not, leave. You only live once. I was a single mom and I lived.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:08 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Maybe instead of "getting on his case," you could sit down and talk to him. When he yells at your son, record it and then play it back for him. Odds are, he doesn't fully realize how horrible it sounds. He's a new father and probably feels a lot of pressure and anxiety on worrying about the future...something he probably didn't have to do pre-baby.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 2:09 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I have been married for 13 years and we have 4 children. Marriage is very hard and it takes work as I am sure you know...maybe something else is going on with him maybe soething at work or maybe he feels jealous of your child. In any case there is something going on with him that needs to be discovered. Does he have a good male influence in his life, father, friend father in law or brother. Maybe you could take the initative to talk to one of his male influences to see if they could help him open up and make sure you talk to him in a way that he should not get on the defensive...in other words don't say things like "stop talking to him like that". You should come at him with love like saying "Did you have a tough day at work" or Do you have something on your mind that you want to talk about. let him know you are not the enemy you are his best allie. Make sure you make time for him.
    SgrplmsnSnflwrs

    Answer by SgrplmsnSnflwrs at 2:20 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I've caught myself yelling at our babies too. I just got so frustrated and we were in reverse, my hubby would say "hey she's just a baby". When he gets frustrated, take the baby from him gently and don't be too crude about it.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:21 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Get your husband to a parenting class and anger management if possible. Someone who yells at such a small child has anger issues and doesn't understand what he's doing.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 2:31 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I agree about the parenting class, and anger manegment. And if you have to leave don't be scared, I mean I don't recommend it but if your baby is in danger be strong and safe his life.
    After all you'll get child support and alamony (which I am sure wont cover all your expensis but maybe you'll need a budget and a part time job some where. Good luck.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 2:43 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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