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I am 31 weeks pregnant, i really want to break up with my boyfriend. He is phyiscally and verbally abusive. I do love him, he hasnt always been this wayy, but I am tired. i want to go to couseling, but he says he doesnt have time. I tried talking to him and he wont listen. i w*nt my daughter to have a mother n father in the same household, but he is unbearable. whats the best advice! please help

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • do what is best for you and your baby honestly do you want your daughter to grow up in a nasty house hold that is always fighting and arguing its something that you need to figure out for your self it seems like you have i know its hard to be a single parent i did it with my first till she was almost 4 in the end it will all be ok and you will find someone to love you and that little girl like you both deserve
    greeniemommy

    Answer by greeniemommy at 2:10 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Its wonderful to want a mother and father in your child's life, but when one of them is abusive it is so much worse than being raised by 1 loving parent.
    Duckieglc

    Answer by Duckieglc at 2:10 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Leave him. Put the baby up for adoption to a good two-parent home. Decide what you want in a husband and father, and then look for a man who fits what you want. Don't ever again settle for somebody who only wants to use you.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:12 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • To the person who mention adoption. I am very well capable of taking care of my daughter. Put your child up for adoption. If I did not want my child I would have gotten an abortion. Thanks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I think you should consider leaving him even though you don't want to. I'm sure it will be hard being a single parent but for your safety and the safety of your daughter it might be best. If you are not happy, your baby will be able to tell. She will grow up in the same fear that you live in now. jmo
    danni33

    Answer by danni33 at 2:21 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • ignore the people telling you to put the baby up for adoption my daughter is 5 and perfect and she grew up most of her life with just me and we did just damn fine and from what i can see so will you and your little one you do not need no man too raise your daughter
    greeniemommy

    Answer by greeniemommy at 2:21 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Leave him. My father was both mentally and physically abusive to my mother and she left him. She didn't want me to think that it was okay to let a man treat you like that. I was much happier when my parents split up an I am grateful for her for showing me how to stand up for yourself and the ones you love. It forced my dad to get help and he became a better person and father too. But in the end do what you can live with because it is your life but also remember that you have a daughter to look out for now too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • if he's physically abusing you and refusing counseling then you need to do whats best for your daughter and get out of that situation. she doesnt need to see daddy hitting mommy and think its ok when she gets beat up by her boyfriend. i know its hard, but do whats best for your daughter.
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 2:29 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • You already know what you want to do, you even said so......Do you need help to get out? Do you have someone who can give you a place to stay for awhile? Have you looked into what types of government assistance you can get for you and the baby? ~~ You need to do what is best for you and your baby!!
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 2:31 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I know you want to have a mom and dad for your baby. Both in an ideal situation work together to support the baby and eachother. raising the baby by yourself (if that is what you're thinking baout doing) is going to be hard. But think about everything before you make your decision. you don't want your baby to be around someone who doesn't respect you .. (not to mention there is no garantee that he'll be good with the baby). Your physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing is at stake.. You will be a good mom if you're happy and calm and strong enough. You can't live with someone who breaks your spirit and makes you weak. Good luck and be strong in your decision. Remember if you're in danger.. make sure you take all pracautions.. (go to someone's house where you're going to be safe")
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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