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need some advice????

i am a stay at home wife and mother...my dear hubby works out on the road and is gone alot...on his last trip, he went to a strip club...and had a lap dance that was quite long, in fact it was 12 minutes long...when he got home and told me bout it...i just bout left him...but do not want to raise my son by myself...my son is such a daddy's boy...he told me all the details...i know that I shud give him credit for telling all the details...i just cant look at him the same...and i just keep thinking bout him with her, and what happened while they were together...what do I do...do I stay, and let him think I am fine with this...or do I leave? I just dont know what to do...I am so mad that it is making me sick...I am a really good wife, that is why I just dont understand why he did this...

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babe9778

Asked by babe9778 at 2:53 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Two words.

    MARRIAGE COUNSELING.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I would probably pack his bags and to let him know what he did is a big deal. Why did he do that? I would tell him it is probably time to find a new career. Seriously! he obviously can't be trusted away from home that long. let him know that you need some time to see if you can get over this (make him stay somewhere else) and look for a marriage counselor.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I am so sorry...I would be so HURT..I also would tell him to get out...Need time to yourself..
    I would let him know exactly how you feel about this and what it may do to the love that you had for him. I totally understand..never had it done to me, but would be heartbroken...I would also do like the others said if you feel that you want to..counceling..not to defend him, he may feel that it was harmless...not realizing how bad it hurt you..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:05 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • "I would also do like the others said if you feel that you want to..counceling..not to defend him, he may feel that it was harmless...not realizing how bad it hurt you.."

    You know, that's very possible. Some men are stupid....they might think it means nothing and not realize that not everyone will agree with them.

    Personally, I wouldn't be as bothered because I know it doesn't mean a damn thing. He still came home to ME. But that doesn't mean your reaction isn't valid. Which is why counseling would be in order.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:21 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • thank u guys...i am hurt...very hurt...and heartbroken...i wud NEVER do that to him...i told him if the roles were reversed, and it was me that was gone all the time...i wud not go out to the bars while I was gone...i guess I have more respect for our marriage than him...cuz I feel like when he did this...that he did not have any respect for our marriage...I have been physically sick since he told me this...
    babe9778

    Answer by babe9778 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Trust me I know how you feel. My boyfriend cheated on me with a girl that he worked with,& he got her pregnant. He also told me about it & all the details. I couldnt even look at him, and it made me sick to my stomach that someone would actually do that to someone. It was ridiculous. He thought that I was going to let him treat me that way, & everything would be ok. No way I broke up with him and ignored him for weeks untill I thought he was as serious as I was about the situation. We are back together now and things are going good. Just make sure you let him know that this was no joke & you are serious!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I'm sorry I think that would make anyone feel like they got an emotional ass kicking. But I got a lap dance once when I was married, looking back on it was a dumb idea. It was just a bunch of drunk girls out for my birthday at one of those fancy male strip clubs. I don't know if it is different for men, but it really didnt mean anything to me when I had it done. I wouldnt really consider it cheating, but its really not cool. What lap dance last 12 minutes? Just let him know how you feel. But don't bluff if your not going to leave
    Panopel

    Answer by Panopel at 4:09 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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