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I don't know what to do

damn I'm just so annoyed I'm in tears! The ONLY time "dh" ever helps around our home is if I'm pissed that he doesn't do sh!t around it! We moved in 6 yrs ago and 6 yrs ago he gutted out one of the bathrooms and has STILL not finished it. He works a normal 8hr day and stays up late to f*ck around on the computer or read or whatever...also his ONE job here is to take the garbage out he never does that. Whenever I ask him to do something or get upset about it I feel guilty cause otherwise he is a good husband its just his lack of care and laziness that has got me nuts!! It has taken him 2 1/2 wks to fix a stain he put on a nice pair of pants I bought him that he said he would fix...and it isn't fixed...what can I do or say its making me become a miserable wife mother and person...

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • some men don't care about stains on pants. As for the bathroom, suggest making it a family project so you two can do it together. That is what my dd is doing bc she knows she'll never get her kitchen done if she doesn't help! Some men have a TO DO list that is a mile long and things never get done. Talk about the things that matter. Choose your battles. Perhaps he doesn't know how to finish the bathroom. If so, you could suggest hiring someone to finish it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:16 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Let it go! And do all you can with a happy desposition and a big genuin smile on your face. I know it's doesn't make sence and there is no doubt someone out theri thinking I'm insain. But what happens is it trigures something in his head that goes "hey why isn't she nagging m? And why is she so happy, what is she up to?" He might even ask you this. You have to just smile and say, I can't make you do anything, and your a real good husband other wise so I'm just going to show you how much I love you by keeping my mouth shut and doing all I can for you. con't...

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 4:56 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I promise with in weeks, he'll WANT to and will get off his butt and do things to help you. And when he does make sure you show him how appreciative you are. Not "well it's about darn time!" But "wow, I have the best husband in the universe, your incredible, and I can't believe your all mine, thank you" after all no one wants to hear what they haven't done, or need to do, we all just want to be loved and appreciated...Many hgs and goof luck.

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 4:56 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I wish it were that way Happ-e, I've been the happy appreciative wife for the 6yrs waiting patiently not saying a word about the much longer should I do it for?  We're expecting another addition to our family and we NEED the 2nd bathroom...I shower him with praise and love all the time...he only does stuff when I'm upset..


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • In That Case I Would Ask Him Why He Only Does Things When You Are Pissed Off.

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 6:23 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Happ-E, dunno what world you're living in but I've been there, done that and it doesn't work with some husbands. Consider yourself fortunate to have the kind that it does work for.

    OP...leave the pants. When he figures out he doesn't have pants to wear, he'll do something.

    Start getting quotes to get the bathroom finished, or take some classes at Home Depot and do it yourself.

    OH. And stop doing things for him like laundry while you finish cleaning up after his work. I suppose you can bother cooking for him; after all you have to eat too.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:43 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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