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Is it more important for a child to spend time with his absent parent and miss school or to go to school and miss the parent?

Child is exceptionally bright. School is important to him. Mother comes sporadically to spend time with her children. Sometimes one time a month. She loves them ... as long as it coincides with her desires, which she calls needs. I feel she should be more responsible with her time and actions, she feels I should let her do as she feels is best with her children. I don't know if I am just being picky and controling or if I am correct.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • The children can see the parent on evenings and weekends. I never took the children out of school unless unavoidable. If the parent starts having the children miss school, then the children get the idea that attending school isn't all that important.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:28 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I think that you should not disrupt the childs regular schedule (including school) to see a mother who doesn't care. That is more hurtful to the child.

    I would tell the mother sorry, but no he will not miss school, tell her what time he gets out, and tell her she can visit him then.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 4:26 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • i think the kids should go to school. if she really wants to see them she can come over on weekends, evenings, early mornings, holidays, etc. they should not have to structure their schedules around her. she is the adult and should take responsibility and act as one.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 4:27 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • It sounds as though you're the step-parent in this situation. If that's the case, I think the decision lies with the biological mother & father.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 4:29 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I think mom can wait until the kids are out of school There are plenty of hours in the day & days of the week that she can see kid. Kids need stability - let them stay in school.

    Answer by lanckn at 4:31 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • This woman's husband is the biological father and as his wife (and apparently they have custody) it is JUST as much apart of her life as it is the father's responsibility. In this situation she IS this childs mother, and I think she has a right to say whatever she wants. She has stepped up when the mom hasn't and I think that she has earned more respect for that. Anyway, YES BM has a right to see her kid, BUT if it doesn't mesh with a normal routine that you have, then weekends and evenings. That is what they would give a absent father, plus he would pay child support.

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 4:40 PM on Jan. 19, 2009