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Any suggestions for dealing with a husband who is clinically depressed?

My husband has always had trouble with anger management and frequent drastic mood swings. His emotional reactions are out of proportion to the cause. This past summer his dr put him on Paxil. Lately, he has been refusing to take it.

He definitely has problems with depression and he hasn't been diagnosed, but I think he is bi-polar as well.

In part he is right, that I knew what he was like before we got married. That doesn't mean I love him any less though. However, I am finding that being married to him is harder than I thought it was going to be (we've been married less than a year).

Does anyone have suggestions for me?

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Asked by MrsAce150 at 4:55 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Yes get him into counseling and go with him. Its very hard for people with major depression (which sounds like he has and means hes had more then one bout with depression in his life) to keep getting help. Its a family situation and should be handled the same way cancer,alcoholism etc would be. What happens is they start feeling better and come off the meds without tapering down which causes more depression and chemical imbalances and can be very dangerous physically and mentally. You need to be with him every step of the way and get therapy for you to learn coping skills and how to help him.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:58 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Try reading the book Stop Walking on Eggshells.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:28 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Explain Too Him The Importance Of The Medication. The Dr. Wouldn't Have Precribed It If He Didn't Deem It Necessary. Also Go To Counseling With Him.

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 6:10 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • maybe he doesn't like how he feels when he's on the meds. see if there is anythig else he can take. try to explain how hard it is to be around him when he's not on meds. i think my hubby is bi-polar as well but he isn't on anything yet

    Answer by shell_bell2241 at 8:46 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I can't get him to go to counseling. I had finally talked him into it and then we went to our family doctor and he told him, "you have two options - medication or counseling and in my experience, most people don't have any success." I could have screamed cause I had spent months trying to get him to see that he needed counseling and then the doctor went and said that.

    When he takes his medicine, he knows that he needs to take it and even sometimes says he is going to talk to the dr about a higher dose next time he sees him. But then he either forgets to take it or decides he feels good enough that he doesn't need it and then gets this "f*%k the world" attitude and it is extremely difficult to get him to start taking it again.

    Answer by MrsAce150 at 8:46 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Correction - in my response above the quote from the dr should have been: "...most people don't have any success with counseling."

    Answer by MrsAce150 at 8:48 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • anti-dep meds come in many forms, and Paxil may not be the one for him, it can take a long time and a couple diff. meds before you find the right one, in my opinion Paxil is one off the WORST ones out there, but it saves some ppl, sounds like the fam dr. that gave it to him is a little bit stuck on stupid, so i would get him in to a diff. dr maybe internal med in case he refuses counseling, because even if he goes to a counselor, he STILL needs the correct meds, or an adjustment, actually with him already taking a med on and off i would get him there first, when he takes them and then doesnt and does that in a cycle he really is messing his body/mind and spirit up, also he may be more comfortable at this point in a internal med dr or family dr rather than a couselor, that might scare him into NOT going to anyone, if you push to hard for both or the counselor he may not go to either

    Answer by SMB25 at 6:15 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

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