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Advice pertaining to porn....

Maybe it was the old country way that I was raised, but I was raised to look at no other then the one that you have eyes for, meaning just your husband or wife, and that you should not be interested in anybody else when you already have what you want at home. Right? Is it just me? I told him that I don't care if he watches porn, but I am not going to be the one he turns to when he gets horny after watching it, and that I am sorry that I don't get turned on by watching other people have sex. And it's like he can look at whom ever he wants but when I even think about it he gets pist and starts sullen. What would you do, and how should I handle this? Because in my opinion if my body pleased him he wouldn't turn to that right? But he just says that he watched it and looked at other women before we got together, does that make it more right, like I told him, we weren't always together, and you gota give just as you take, right?

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Baby_Kisses08

Asked by Baby_Kisses08 at 5:30 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • nope I don't agree. If your body isn't who he's to turn to then you just opened up a big ole can of worms. Men don't look at porn bc they want those women. They just like the jump start of sexual thoughts and visions in order to enhance what he wants to do to you. Heck I'd be buying him more if it would get me laid more!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:33 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I agree with admckenzie. There are men who like porn, they like whatching it cuz for them is like foreplay. And is probably stuff they cant do anyway... But if after he watches he wants to be with you.. why turn him away? If you are the one he wants at the end of all this then what is the problem here? People have different view of what gets them excited, and im also not saying you should go and watch if it makes you uncomfortable, but a little porn watching before you get some action is not bad. Now ,if he spends all his free time watching porn, then that is not right.
    EmmaY

    Answer by EmmaY at 5:39 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I agree with above...I like porn and Im normally the one who suggests us watching it before intercourse on occasion and it gets us both excited and we have great sex, he has not interest in watching it alone, works for me....in a past relationship though I had a boyfriend who was hooked on it...rejected sex with me and I went to bed and woke up to see where he was at and found him looking at it and getting himself happy...and this happened more than once...if he's paying more attention to porn than you when it come to sex, yeah theres a problem...if he wants you after it...I wouldnt be too upset :)
    AustinR3MySon

    Answer by AustinR3MySon at 5:47 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Ok , my husband has been known to watch porn also and it seems pretty harmless but i still don't like it. He tells me that all the guys he knows watch porn occasionally and that there wifes don't care. I just tell my husband that it bothers me and i would rather him not do it. I think it is resonable to ask that.
    busygal26

    Answer by busygal26 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • admckenzie, EmmaY, AustinR3MySon Are All right. There Is Nothing Wrong With Porn And If He Wants You After What's The Problem? At Least He Is Not Going Elsewhere.
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 6:01 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • M husband watches porn. If its couples he watches or women taking care of themselves that's one thing. But watch out if it goes into group swaps. If he comes to you and suddenly does out of the ordinary things you need to decide if he watches porn if if he's addicted to porn. There's a difference. If it makes you feel better don't feed his pending addiction by being with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • But there is a difference when he wont please himself, and I am the only thing in the house to give him what he wants, that's what he turns to, thats what get to me the most. And what about the fact that in public he can look at whomever he wants but when it comes to me looking he goes off the deep end, looking is harmless I agree, but if he don't want me looking then????
    Baby_Kisses08

    Answer by Baby_Kisses08 at 6:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • There ARE men out there that dont find it appealing. My dh doesnt watch it at all. Thats just how he is. I understand where your coming from my Ex watched it i dont like it at all. There really isnt a whole lot you can do. Everyone is different. Maybe have another talk keep it every calm. Other than that try to not let it get to you. Unless he starts doing it ALL the time.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 6:19 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • i would tell him he is not being fair!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 6:22 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • You allow him to watch it, but deny him sex after he gets horny. That is so wrong. Do you want him to get it elsewhere? All men enjoy porn (whether they are allowed to watch it or not). He's just being a man. But he desires to be with YOU and no one else. But you want to punish him for that. Don't do it.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 6:26 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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