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This is how I feel today... anyone with me?

That song by Beyonce... if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it. I'm sick of the excuses. I told him I was going to buy him a ring and he said no that he wants to do it the right way... I told him if we do it his way it will never happen. He wants to have some sort of ceromony... I do not... I don't feel comfortable getting all dressed up or any of that. I would be prefectly happy with getting married at a court house and then going out to dinner with friends and family and having a mini honey moon in a nice hotel room. It's suppose to be about us anyways not everyone else. I just feel like its excuse after excuse... we don't have money to blah blah blah... I'm seriously to the point were I just want to leave him because it makes me feel rejected and unwanted. What would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • It sounds like he just doesn't want to start this marriage until he is able to provide for you and give you the type of wedding and marriage (he thinks) you deserve. Maybe you can 'set a date' and come to a compromise somewhere in the middle on the rings and ceremony. I don't think there is anything wrong with him wanting "some" kind of ceremony. I think it's romantic and definitely not too much to ask to make your wedding day special.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 6:22 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I agree. Leave him and let him come chase you then he'll give you what you want.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:34 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • We didn't have money for a wedding so I came home and told my DH were getting married on Tuesday and he said Ok. He wanted to do the traditional thing too but I didn't feel like waiting till we had money. But then again I'm very dominant over my DH. Sometimes you just need to put your foot down.
    ArmyWife112908

    Answer by ArmyWife112908 at 5:44 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • 'm seriously to the point were I just want to leave him because it makes me feel rejected and unwanted.   well, it seems he wants a wedding and you don't, thats a new one. Compromise and make it family only. Borrow a nice dress(doesn't have to be a wedding dress), get family to make a wedding meal, etc. It can work if you want it too.

    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:57 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Put Your Foot Down Or Walk Away
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 5:58 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I'm with you on not wanting a wedding...they're expensive, uncomfortable, dramatic...egh. My SO agrees though. If we ever decide to take the plunge it is going to be either in Vegas where we will have a mini honeymoon too or in a court house. We decided to "screw our friends and family" a long time ago...lol.

    Really think about why you want a wedding though. Is it just because that is supposed to be the next step, are you worried that he isn't in it for life? all the other kids are doing it? Religious reasons? Kids? Figure out what it is that REALLY makes you want to get married and see if it is a good enough reason to leave or stay. I used to think I had to get married and wanted to, but then I realized I had a good relationship and if nothing changed ever, life was still pretty damn good. When I took the focus off marriage, I was a lot happier.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 6:22 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Procrastination gets you two no where. If he keeps putting it off it will probably never happen. If It were me I would take steps to make it happen. Put a down payment on a ring and a nice dress (not big fancy), then invite your family and a couple of friends to go to the court house. Then throw a party at a restaurant/hotel as a reception. It should be about you two but it should be about compromise. And if he is really that against getting married to you then you'll know as you start planning all these things. You'll have time to figure out if he's really in it for the long haul.
    ColorMeCurvy

    Answer by ColorMeCurvy at 6:32 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • sounds like he doesn't want to marry you. buy the ring and he might run away but then you'd know for sure. but then your stuck with a ring. get one on ebay. i got one made of tungsten steel for $52.00 total.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:10 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • hubby and i didn't have money for a wedding and were planning a trip to the court house ourselves (untill his "mom" found out and was not going to allow THAT! lol). two of my sisters got married at the court house, and there is nothing wrong with it! it IS after more YOUR day than HIS (they forget the day all the time anyways! lol)
    tell him if he really wants to marry you, then prove it, and if he doesn't want to marry you then fine, he can go his way, and you can go yours
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 7:46 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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