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How do YOU explain

I'm just thinking and wondering how other moms explain death to their children the first few times? No matter how old your children and if the death were animals or beloved people.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • i have has 2 deaths in my family in the last year about. One was my neice who had 3 other siblings and one was my sister who had 3 kids, so going through it with kids involved was a huge issue for us. We just tried to explain the best we could that sometime people can get very sick and they die and go to heaven. We told them that they now live up in the sky, but they are still around and can see us and hear the things we say.
    asholan_07

    Answer by asholan_07 at 7:13 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • My parents always just told me that "so and so" went to heaven, and I never questioned them.

    I'm not sure what I'm going to tell my daughter. She's too young at the moment though lol.
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 7:13 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • My kids believe in God and they know about Heaven. We just explain to them that our animals are being taken care of by God and that they're ok. None of my 3 kids have ever been traumatized and haven't actually cried about it. My daughter is too young to know what I'm really talking about since she is 2 1/2.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 7:13 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Our family isn't religious and I don't know if that helps or hurts. On one hand we can describe it as a fairly uncomplicated physical process, but on the other, it doesn't give much room for comfort. We have described it like sleeping where you never wake up and my daughter has come to a grave side service which I think kind of solidified it for her that it is permanent. It is certainly difficult.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 7:15 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • My grandmother died shortly after Easter. My son, whose 7, was very close with her. I told him that her body no longer works and that her spirit had left it. I told him that a person's spirit, or soul, is the energy that makes the person who they are. He and she used to talk a lot. I told him that he can still talk to her. To do so all he'll have to do is think the words and that she will hear him. I explained that when a person is no longer alive, their spirit can hear when we think about them. He asked why she died and I told him that when a person dies it's because they achieved all they were meant to achieve in this life. Then they go on to prepare for the next life. We talked a lot about reincarnation (which is a part of our religious beliefs). He asked a lot of questions.

    Though it didn't hit him what death meant until we went to the wake.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 7:21 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • The very first death my ds experienced was my cousins husband, we were sort of close and her son is the same age as my son they were 7 years old at the time, and he had cancer so we knew he was going to die and my MIL also had cancer and died 2 months after he did then my grandmother was sick- she said her body was just tired and she was done- and passed 4 months later. Anyway because we knew they were coming it was easier to prepare my son. At first he wanted to go see his Grandma at the funeral home even though he went to the cemetery because that was the last place he saw her and we had to keep reminding him that she was in his heart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • CONT> He also insisted that he saw ghosts when he was younger, so she came to see him and that comforted him. But then his cousin who was also his best friend died suddenly when they were 9 years old so that was a lot harder. We had told him that the people who were sick were going to be better in heaven even though we are not really religious and then he was mad and totally stopped believing in God when his cousin was take healthy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I just tell them that death is a part of life. Everyone & everything dies... it's normal. I tell them that nobody knows what happens when you die... that some people believe this while other people believe that and then all the inbetweens. I tell them it's nothing to be afraid of & nothing that they need to worry themselves about. I tell them it's okay to be sad because you're going to miss the person or the pet, but there's nothing that can be done about it --- it just happens.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 7:25 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • My son's first experience with death was a dog at his dad's house that was hit by a car. I've explained to him that sometimes our bodies can break and stop working and if it's broken enough, it can't heal. Sometimes it's caused by accidents and sometimes by sickness. But we haven't had to deal with a family or friend's death yet, just pets and then talking about it. I've explained that my parents are both dead and in Heaven, but he just hasn't experienced it personally yet.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 7:29 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • My kids first experience with death was losing their grandfather (my fil) but my oldest was only 2 1/2 at the time. Last summer they lost their great-uncle who they knew and even went to see in the hospital days before he died. Their great-grandmother died the winter before that. I just talked to them about death being part of life. You can't avoid it but for the most part you are really old when it happens (it helped that both people they knew that died were older...Uncle Leon was almost 70 and gramma was almost 90). It never was an issue. We don't believe in heaven and never mentioned that to them and they didn't seem to have any problems dealing with it. They were almost 8, 6 1/2 and 5 1/2 when their uncle died.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:33 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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