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What's your beef with SAHMs?

Since becoming at SAHM in 2006, I swear people treat me like I'm an idiot or something. So many of my fellow SAHMs get so many negative remarks on and off line. God forbid we get tired or need a break from the kids, they we're called lazy. Or either people tell me they feel sorry for me because I'm "stuck" at home with my children. I mean really what's the problem?

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Asked by 4Girls1truLove at 10:25 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • the only problem i have is that i dont have any money of my own, which would be nice to not have to ask my husband for money when i need something. and if anything were to happen (God forbid) i would be stuck with nothing, thats why i think education is important for a good back up plan

    Answer by aliciatron at 10:29 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I think in all honesty, a lot of them are jealous because they can't or won't stay home. They just won't admit it.

    ps. and yes I'm posting anon cause I've had enough bashing to last me a while.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I don't feel sorry for stay at home moms. For the most part I am one. I work 16 hours a week. It is the hardest job that you will ever love. And yes you need a break from the kids now and then. I leave mine with her dad and go to the neighbors to get away. About an hour or so and then I come home. You aren't stuck you chose to do this for your kids. I appreciate everything that a stay at home mom has to offer her children. Congratulations on your decision.

    Answer by coala at 10:30 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • It's just two different worlds. Some have a desire to work outside the home; their heart is in their work. Some women have to work to support their families and may be secretly jealous. I am a SAHM and I get the same treatment from time to time...mostly from the career minded women in my own family. Many people look at me staying home and wouldn't even think that I have a degree and have done so much outside of the home before having kids. But I choose to be home and have nothing against women who choose to work outside the home. I basically think that any woman who puts down another for their choice or obligation to work outside the home or not, lacks self esteem and self assurance in their own position. It's not right and you should simply continue to be pleasant to all women.

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 10:32 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I've not experienced that very much myself. I've been a SAHM since I had my first child 12 years ago and my biggest issues were always caused by my own doubts and feelings about staying home full time, not by other people judging me. But maybe that has a lot to do with the fact that the majority of the moms I know are SAHM's as well.

    Answer by jessradtke at 10:37 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Honestly, I feel like I get the same thing from SAHMs because I work. They really are two different worlds but neither is better than the other. I think there are pros and cons to each lifestyle. I think it is sad that people can't accept that different people have to live their lives the best way that suits them. I would love to be a SAHM but I have already dedicated too much time to my military carreer that getting out now without retirement pay would be kind of stupid. I wish there were more open mindedness and more of an ability for people to understand what it is like in other's shoes. Some aren't SAHM material and others are. I think it is a privelage to be a SAHM and never thought of SAHMs as being "stuck" at home with their kids. It is a choice each of us, as mothers, have to make.

    Answer by cat1622 at 10:47 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I'm really sorry you guys get so much bad press for being a SAHM. I envy you guys. I tried with my third child but after 3 months I went back to work part time in the evening. I love my kids I'm just not wired to be home.Soto make up for all the crude you guys get My hats off to you. You have the most rewarding, stressful lowest paid job but your benefits are the best there are. HUGS!

    Answer by pagirl71 at 10:50 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I used to envy stay at home moms. Then I got a chance to be one and decided it definitely wasn't for our family.

    Whatever floats your boat, as long as it's not illegal.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:23 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I don't have a problem with WAHM at all. I get the problems when I hear WAHM or SAHM say moms who work outside the home shouldn't be parents. I've heard this over and over again. My DH makes good money I just don't want to be sitting home all day so I work as well.
    I also work because I want to help and another reason is because I like money and lots of it. I like to shop all the time. Just would rather work outside the home then to be there all day.

    Answer by MrsTGray at 11:27 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I've been a SAHM since before my oldest was born (quit working while I was pregnant). It's been almost 9 years since I've worked. I haven't really had many comments. Only from my neighbor who wanted to know if I was going to go back to school to finish my degree and then chastised me when I said no (my kids were 3, 2 and 1 at the time and I couldn't handle college when it was just me, lol).
    I give major props to working moms. I'm tired at the end of the day from all the crap I do and I can't imagine putting in 8 hours then coming home and doing all this stuff. Although, the break from the kids would be nice. But I don't think one is better then the other. We just do the best we can.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:45 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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