Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

open adoption?

my husband and i are getting started on the adoption process of our 2 g-daughters. my daughter has agreed completly to the adoption. we have been raising both of them since the day they were born. my daughter and her boyfriend (in jail at this time) have no where to live, no jobs and a very unhealthy lifestyle. which are all the reasons she knows that a life with us is what is best for the girls. i give her credit for that. but can someone help me out alittle with the adoption process and what is open adoption? thank you

Answer Question

Asked by lilredsfrm67 at 10:52 PM on Jan. 19, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • i dont get what your saying youre adopting your grandchildren? open adoption your required to send the bioligcal parents updates and pictures so they know how their baby is doing...thats all i know

    Answer by akashaismyworld at 11:02 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • an open adoption would be automatic in your case. unless you plan on cutting your daughter out of your life and it dosen't sound like you are. I congratulate you on this step do make sure you daughter know she dosen't get to change her mind later on this is a forever decision.

    Answer by Lyndall at 11:06 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Open adoption is when the birthparents have contact with you after the adoption is finalized. Since the Bmom is your daughter, I would assume that open adoption is what you would be dealing with, unless you're going to cut her out of your life. It just means she can see the kids, etc.....but it is within your guidelines. She can't just come in and do whatever she pleases after the adoption is finalized. They will legally be yours and she will have no rights to them any longer. The process of adoption varies by states....Our private adoption was just a matter of terminating the Bparents rights, setting a court date, paying all the lawyer/court fees, and going before the judge. (Not to make it sound easy for anyone, that's just the process portion of it).

    Answer by LizClara at 11:17 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • is guardianship a possibilty?

    Answer by babycakes254 at 11:52 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • Sounds like you've been doing "openness" all along! Open in the adoption world means in contrast to the closed adoptions of the past which were the norm. There are varying degrees of openness but at it's core is the ability of both the adoptive parents and biological parents to continue communication post-finalization of the adoption. Some send letters and pictures through the agency, some send directly between each other with no middle-man, some include visits between the families and some do not. For help with the process I would encourage you to contact a lawyer that specializes in private adoptions. Because this is a family adoption I would also encourage you to look for groups to support you and the girls, as this is legally changing the former relationships in the family (i.e., your daughter will now legally be these girls sister, you will be mom, etc.).

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 12:07 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • The suggestion of guardianship is also something that families sometimes can be unaware of as a possibility. Legal kinship guardianship is established in court which affords the guardians to arrange for all things that parents can (education, medical, everything). It allows the original family structure to remain the same - safeguards the children - and works for many families.

    We provided legal kinship for our nephew with his mother's consent (she never would have agreed to termination of her parental rights) from age 15 to 18. He would have been devestated if his mother lost her rights - it was bad enough that she was incapable of meeting his basic needs. It worked for us. She was able to support him in the ways she could, while we provided the structure and skills he needed to learn. It does work for some.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 12:12 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • alil more detail.....
    we already have full legal and physical custody court ordered of both girls, given to us my children and youth services. the father is not a good person and my daughter agrees that she wants him as far away from the girls as possible. shouldnt be a problem he has gone 9 months at a time of not seeing his oldest and she is only 17 months old. also yes our daughter will always be a part of our lives and i am sure that is what made her choice easier, knowing she will always still be a part of their lives. someday we will explain to the girls when they are old enough to understand. we are already mommy and daddy they know nothing different than us. both parent are not ready to be parents, they have had very little contact with them from the beginning, their choice of course

    Answer by lilredsfrm67 at 12:41 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • The only problem I see is, will the father release his rights or will the court have to terminate them? Other than that I don't think an adoption will be hard you just need a home study and background checks.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:14 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • we dont need any of the home studies or background checks they have all been done and we have everything from children and for the soon as he hears he will no longer be financially responsible for the children, which he never has been, he will sign that right over. he never wanted them in the first place. all he has ever been worried about was that i would take him to domestic relations and he said he would go to jail first (well again) before he paid a dime.

    Answer by lilredsfrm67 at 8:43 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Well then you already basically have an open adoption with your daughter. The only difference is the birth certificates will change, then you won't have explain to the school or daycare that you have custody. Sounds like you have everything straight then.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:23 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.