Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Please Help Me

I loaned my in laws $500 to make their house pymt because they were in hard times. Before me and my husband got together they helped him out quite a bit with some things he was going through with his ex wife. Well they tried to give my husband the money back and he told them no because they helped him a lot in the past. I did not know that he did this until after the fact. Do I have the right to be upset with him, because I feel that I do. I think that he should have consulted with me before he made that kind of decision.

Answer Question
 
dawnmitchell

Asked by dawnmitchell at 12:44 AM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Are you guys financially stable? I think he should consulted with you, but especially if you're having problems yourselves.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 12:45 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I think you do especially if you do the bills. Depends on the finances but no matter what he should have talked to you about it.
    proudmom2x

    Answer by proudmom2x at 12:46 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • i agree.. if YOU loaned the money, then the inlaws should've paid YOU back. however, if it was a joint decision, then yes, he should've made another joint decision whether to accept the payback or let it ride. if you guys needed the money back, he definitely should've accepted the payback. however, i've always heard that you shouldn't load friends/family money..but if you do, don't expect to get it back. i know that isn't what you wanted to hear...but yes, i do agree with you completely.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 12:48 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I went to them because I knew they needed the help. By all means we are not financially stable. We have six children between the two of us, and I just started my own home business. I was counting on that money to buy inventory for my business and now I can't. What really upsets me is that he not only told them no once, he said it several times and I had no knowledge of this.
    dawnmitchell

    Answer by dawnmitchell at 12:51 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Yeah - you and your husband are a team. He should consult with you on any money matters. You might have been fine with letting them keep it and not pay it back. But he should have asked you first. I'd be upset too. You guys should talk it over and let him know how you feel. Going forward he needs to communicate with you.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:57 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • this is a yes and no answer because yes you do have the right to get mad but you should understand it as well they are his PARENTS, and really 9 times out of 10 when you loan money you dont get it back anyways right LOL at least they tried to give it back so be mad at him and appreciate thier effort. ( ur inlaws are better than mine if they tried to pay u back)
    gonnahavababy

    Answer by gonnahavababy at 1:07 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Absolutely - he should've consulted you. You are a team, and he shouldn't make big decisions like that without first asking your opinion. Whether you agree or not, he should talk to you about it.
    shawnaquijada

    Answer by shawnaquijada at 1:12 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Yes, it should have been discussed with you. But it was a generous act and he may not of even thought of it until the moment he said it. If you can spare the money, you should forgive him. His folks sound like they would help you if you and your husband ever need them again. But if this is putting you in a financial strain, then it probably wasn't a good idea at all.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:15 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • NO. think of every thing they have given him without repayment . including life
    7goingon27

    Answer by 7goingon27 at 1:33 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Yes you do because he didn't even consult you but realize he probably just thought that you are such a wonderful person that you wouldn't have mind and would have done the same. At least I know that's what I would think if it was me, my husband wouldn't dilibretly hurt me and over look me like that. So maybe your hub wasn't either.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 2:52 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN