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4 Bumps

I don't understand the concept of open adoption.

You sell your kid to someone that will do all of the hard work while you still get to benefit from having a child....I don't think so.

Selling humans should be illegal. Why is adoption still legal???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Feb. 28, 2012 in Adoption

Answers (31)
  • Um... open adoption is not 'selling' your child. No one profits for money from it. Bills may be covered or lawyer fees but no one comes out monetarily richer. It is so the biological parent can have a loose role in the child's life while they child is raised by better equipped or more mature parents. The biological parent has given up all rights but still gets to see their child grow. It makes it easier for both bio parent and child in a lot of cases.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:02 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • Umm if you're paying someone's rent, paying their bills, paying for their food while they're incubating ''your'' child.....yes that's selling.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:03 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • ?? There's a difference between selling a child and adopting a child. I have 4 cousins who are adopted, and I also have several friends who have adopted children. Would you rather the children be raised in homes that are, in some cases, abusive or drug riddled, or, in the case of 2 of my cousins, raised by a single mom with a dad who didn't want them, love them, or provide for them (as opposed to what happened - my uncle married their mom, loves them, loves her, adopted them, provided for them when they were growing up, and is still a good dad to them).

    As far as open adoptions, the few people that I knew who have done that, the birth mom (dad didn't want to be involved), didn't try to be a mom to the child. She was more like an aunt or family friend. She loved the child, liked hearing about what was going on with the child, but never tried to "be the mom" or take credit, or make choices that the parents made.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:04 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • "you still get to benefit from having a child"

    Benefit in what way? There's no monetary benefit so are you talking about emotional benefits? And, if so, how on earth could that be a bad thing?

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 8:05 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • So... since my husband provided the money for the food I ate, and provided the housing that we lived in, and the medical care that I received, does that mean that I "sold" him my part of the baby?

    So, what, you would rather that a mom who can't afford to care for a child, can't afford for health care, etc, and who might not even want a child - now (because she's not in a place in her life where she can be a mom), or ever (not everyone wants kids), should just have an abortion, instead? After all, we wouldn't want to allow someone who wants the child to be able to raise him or her, because they didn't "incubate" the baby themselves...

    (Oh, and don't say "she shouldn't have sex if she's not ready" - some girls are sexually assaulted and get pg.)

    Not to mention, if you / your spouse was the one pg, you would still be paying for the medical expenses, etc, so....

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:10 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • <<>>

    If you ask this kind of question, then you are too uninformed to even have an opinion about it at all. Stick to what you know and what you've experienced.
    i can't say anymore because I've experienced this and you've made me very angry, it has worked out beautifully, and I don't feel the need to educate anyone who would write what you did.

    Answer by Gerberdaisy70 at 8:11 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • My boyfriend and I considered open adoption and I will tell you why. We are young. I was still in highschool. I was not sure I was ready to handle a child but I knew I could not just abort and I wasn't sure I could just 'let him go' to another family and never know how he was, what he looked like, or what his favorite things were. Just because I didn't think I was ready didn't mean I did love or care about him. Now in the end I decided to raise him. It was a good choice but I am GLAD open adoption is an option. It is a VALID choice. And it is NOT selling your child! It is making the choice to love your child and give them the best without feeling like you completely abandoned them.

    And I was told that RARELY are expenses beyond the medical cost of birth and the legal fees covered. They told me this upfront. I did not ask.

    Answer by ClaireWithChild at 8:11 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • Thank you for that, Claire.

    Answer by Gerberdaisy70 at 8:15 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

  • Look at adoption fees and tell me that isn't selling a human being. Please.

    Adoption is WRONG. I would rather see kids raised in orphanages.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:15 PM on Feb. 28, 2012

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