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im not in love anymore! What can i do?

I dont love my husband anymore-I care ABOUT HIM BUT i DONT FEEL LIKE i DID 23 YRS AGO

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I am there myself now. I fell out of love with my husband a little while ago but stayed for my daughters sake. It will only get worse because they feel it and the kids are affected by it. The unhappiness is contagious and you can only fake it for so long. My advice, if you have tried to tell im what he needs to do and have tried to change yourself and try ur best, move on. Its better that any children see you happy and alone, rather than fighting or crying all the time
    melissap463

    Answer by melissap463 at 7:28 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Tough, I think everyone starts feeling this way in their marriage once in a while, try to spend some time away from him, when he's home, don't be home, you might just need a breather.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • So? Of course you don't. You are both all grown up now, kids are probably older, and now you need to take time to rekindle whatever is there. Also, being alone and older is no fun according to my friends.
    My hubby and I started going to Goodwill together every Sunday. We always end up doing lunch out. It is fun. Try something odd like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I'm almost 30 years married. I'm not in a good position but from what I see from others married close to us love changes in different ways as we're married older. Some people I know are better friends than way before and less sex what with responsibilities and others real partner love is a whole lot stronger and sex whenever is incredible. Don't know why YOUR saying what you are but if you feel like he's your best friend and has your back against any one any how no matter how sex is that's pretty damn good after all those years! My hubby and I are struggling cuz we weren't best friends early on we were lovers and never became bf on his part. We're suffering now. Hope you find the peace in yourself you need with or without him! Are your kids grown? Some of mine are young adults and another one is coming up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • well a few things, love is something you work on not just something you "fell into" then "out of".

    work on it, don't worry about his responce to it, just work on it hard on your behalf.

    also, don't think the grass is greener... I know too many single women who will tell you that.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 2:38 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Start dating again and see if you can get back what you had. Maybe you two got into a slump and just started taking things for granted and forgot each other. It happens. Instead of worrying about everything, just do something. sometimes you just have to re-kindle that fire and watch it slowly burn higher. Look at how it would be without him in your life. Would you miss him, would you want him back, etc. does he feel the same as you? don't throw away 23 years if you can get it back. Who knows, you might even be happier if you 2 can fix things. Maybe its time he knew how you felt so he has a chance to fix it, too
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:33 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Are you miserable? Are there bad things going on in your life and marriage? Or is it just stale and humdrum? You can work on reconnecting, and having fun together....but if you are deeply saddened by the relationship that is something different. I don't think we can rely on being "in love" to carry us through a long term marriage, though. Past the infatuation stage, marriage relies on a decision, a commitment rather than a "feeling". The comfort and stability of a long term marriage is a wonderful thing in itself. No one else will ever share those memories. Unless you have serious issues I would try everything to reconnect to your husband.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 9:59 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

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