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What should I do? my life is literally falling apart.

Im eighteen. My boyfriend/fiance/baby daddy, is thirty. When I met him I was just turning seventeen. We were together nine months before I got pregnant. He was there with me through it all and we were happy (occasional fights, duh.) It got harder towards the end of my pregnancy because we were trying to buy a place to live, rather then stay at my mothers house. We finally found a place and Iput about half my bank account into it. He didnt put my name into it because he said I could get benefits from the government by being a "single" mom and having nothing. So I agreed and thought everytihng was fine. We stayed at my moms for the first two weeks of the babies life. Then we moved in. I was lonely, Im eighteen, just had a baby, and feel lonely for hours alone in a new house while he worked. Understandable right? Well we were fighting terribly and now he decided that he needed me to leave, he basically kicked me out...

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Asked by shellxobabie at 9:30 AM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • What a jerk! Girl one thing you need to remember is that your a woman and we are strong people.You will make it through this and you will make it through stronger and smarter.I would take him to court to get the money back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • i dont think i can. my name is no where on it. and if i take him to court there is no way to ever get our family back

    Answer by shellxobabie at 9:39 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I think the loss of that money is the least of your concerns compared to the kind of man he is.....even to suggest that you put your money into the place without your name on it, suggest to you that you can get benefits for being a single mom rather than him taking responsibility for you and the child you have together. Can you just go back to your mom's house and take care of your baby? You are young....eventually you can work and get your own place.....but I wouldn't even think about getting that guy back!

    Answer by BJoan at 9:48 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • You made the mistake of trusting someone who was not trustworthy. He has used you in ways which may be illegal. Since you were only seventeen and he was much older, you may be able to press charges against him for unlawful transactions with a minor. I'm sure that depends on the laws in your state. It would be worth checking. Even if you can't do that, please learn from this. There are valid reasons for checking out the character of a man in great depth before becoming sexually and emotionally involved with him. It's just plain common sense. Once you give him the only thing he is interested in, you have lost your opportunity to evaluate him solely on the basis of his character, which in the long term, is what really matters. I'm sorry someone didn't warn you about that sooner.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:55 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • IMO There is something seriously WRONG with a man that is almost 30 and is going after a child for sex. No offense, but to someone that is almost 30, you are a child. Stay with men that are within 5 years of your age. Any older than that and he is just wanting a young girl to bed. Simple fact is, you picked a loser. He was a loser when he went after a child for sex, he was a loser when he decided that he would rather you and your child be problems of the tax payers than his problem. Your young and naive', any woman with age and experience on their side would have put their foot strait up his butt for even suggesting something so lazy and pathetic. You have your entire life ahead of you. ***Continued***

    Answer by cfdm3s_mommy at 10:29 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Leave him and take him to court. Your name may not be on the paperwork, but your bank records show a withdrawal for a large amount just days before he handed it over to someone else and signed paperwork. Small claims court. You don't have to hire a lawyer to go to small claims. As far as getting your family back, You didn't have a family with him. You were a young piece of booty, from what I can tell from question, you were also a place to live (with your mother). He is irresponsible and got you pregnant. There is no future with this guy that is worth fighting for. You would be miserable and your child would be raised in a horrible environment if you fought to stay with him. Cut all ties, learn from your mistakes, and next time go for a real man. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.

    Answer by cfdm3s_mommy at 10:29 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • In Texas, there is a law about establishing residency. Check with the local police, etc. Go ahead and fight for yourself. Don't worry about trying to reconcile - you now know what a complete jerk he is. The residency law is such that if I invited someone to stay temporarily in my home for like a week and they filled out an employment application with my address, in order to make them leave if they refused I would have to take them to court. Crazy but true. If you applied for benefits as a single mom, that address is on file. He obviously used you... what kind of guy would encourage their baby mama to lie to get on welfare to absolve himself of responsibility... his way of making sure he wasn't leaving you penniless I guess. Talk to legal aid, local constable, etc. Good luck!

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:02 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

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