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this may sound shallow of me!!!

there is this great guy that i have known for around 11yrs. and we just recently started talking about dating. he is a wonderful person, great job, loves his and my kids, has morals, and ect... but the only draw back is; that he is not that attractive and over weight, which makes me not that physically attracted to him. should i give it a try and hope he grows on me or will i just be wasting mine and his time? i know that sounds shallow of me, but i need some advice. please help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Jul. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • So LOOKS and WEIGHT is more important to you then... a man who cares for you and your kids, has a great job, morals and everything? Are you attractive to others? Are you skinny? How would you feel if someone you cared for did'nt want you cause your not attractive? Its not fair. You need to get your prioritys straight. He deserves better then you in my opinion! Let him go so he can find someone who LOVES HIM FOR HIM! and can see past his weight! Good Luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • I so agree with the other poster, your not right. End the relationship so he can find someone better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • Makes 3 of us!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • I am gonna sound shallow, but if the chemistry is not there now, I don't think it ever will be. I couldn't do it.

    Answer by cavalleymom at 11:37 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • At least you're being honest with yourself. He deserves someone honest as well. Of course he'll grow on you if you continue the relationship, and so will your kids and his. I believe you may already have the answer to your question. I'm married to a very good man who is not tall, dark, and far from the physique I was use to. But he's mine for the rest of my life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • Yep... I am in that situation I have a friend I hang out with he is fbuddy and he is helping me through my seperation etc... He started talking about our future and I was like uh oh. I don't want to hurt him. The sex is good but I don't picture myself with him forever. We are good friends and I don't know how to tell him it will be nothing more. He helped me get through the guy I was in love with and always will be. Its a no win situation to lead someone on because somebody will get hurt and I wish I had followed my own advice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • no i dont think you should do it becouse it wouldnt be fare to you or him. if ur not atracted to him now he will not grow on you so maybe friends is good enough. dont mess the friendship up on something you new you didnt want

    Answer by lovelyme1006 at 11:42 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • Give it some more time... he could always loose weight!

    Answer by davesgirl86 at 11:45 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • first off look at what u wrote all the positve things he obv...cant be a bad person so hes chunky... but would u rather be happy with what sounds like a great guys or let what other people are gonna think get the best of u i think u know that ur looking at this situation the wrong way sitt down and think bout the pros and cons.... that will get u farther than u think good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • How is it shallow that she is not attracted to this guy?? When you start dating a guy it's usually because there is an attraction! I dated a guy who was over weight and at first I was not attracted to him, but after being a friend I became attracted to him. It sounds as though you've been friends with him for a while now and if you're not attracted to him by now you won't ever be, so if that is important to you, which I think it is to everybody, including the woman who posted here but were to afraid to show there profiles, then don't date him.

    Answer by feesharose at 12:05 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

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