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Question for married women who have ever thought about leaving their husbands.

My husband and myself are having issues with eachother. We are getting counselling from our pastor. I get tired of him changing for a week or so and then changing back. We started today fighting before we even got out of bed this morning because I asked him to help with the kids so I could get ready to take the girls to a baby yoga class after dropping DS off at school. I'm not enjoying our marriage most of the time and it seems like we are mostly just coexisiting. We don't agree on things with the kids and the house and so on...
My question is have you ever thought about leaving your husband and if you didn't what was it that changed your mind and how have things changed?

 
AmandaH321

Asked by AmandaH321 at 10:51 AM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I almost left my husband but a friend of mine gave me a book. It's called The Proper Care and Feedings of a Husband by Dr. Laura S. It really changed the way I looked at my husband. When I started to change then my husband started to change. If you do decide to read it, just a warning, Dr. Laura can be a bit blunt so take the things she says that rub you the wrong way with a grain of salt.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 12:04 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Sounds like my husband. I stayed though. We are still doing bad! I just keep praying. Maybe we will grow out of it. We haven't been married long enough to see. About a year and 8 months.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • marraige is hard im learning but the best advice i have recieved is that every marraige has a ruff patch and you have to take a step back and look in to see what the problem is once you know what the problem truly is then you can fix it. You cant fix it if you dont know whats really going on. Hang in there you said for better or worse and it sounds like you two have taken a step into the right direction by seeking some help.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 10:56 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • My husband and I have almost called it quite a dozen times. Once, going so far as drawing up divorce papers and almost signing them. We love each other, and thats what keeps us together. I was talking to my grandma (married to my grandpa 59 years) and asked her how they made it, as even they have their fights. She said that her and my grandpa lived apart for 7 years when her kids grduated high school and it did them a world of good. My advice to you would be live apart for a little bit and it will make your appriciate each other more. I went home to Indiana for a month and then came back and it was like magic. Mayeb this can work for you. Oh, and a family that prays together stays together. GAP.
    *hugs and prayers*
    navy-wife

    Answer by navy-wife at 10:56 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I did leave my husband. He never changed, and got to where he made me sick to look at him. Im remarried now and it was the best thing I ever did leaving that idiot. Im proudly not with stupid anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I did leave mine for 7 mo. I went back though when he agreed to counseling. Well, a big waste of money THAT was. He mainly lied to the dr. Then we stayed together another 4 years & well, it just turned even worse then that. He was "better' for about a year then went back to never helping me, always wanting to fight with me, etc. I wish you luck with things because I am divorced now...but the kids & I are a lot happier now that I dont have another big kid to take care of! It cant work if only one person is willing to make changes & work on things. It's a 50/50 deal. You take care of your 50% but he has to take care of his 50% or it wont work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Oh we have been there to. But I look at my daughter, I pull out our photo albums of when we met, our wedding album and what we have accomplished together and I remember why it was that I fell in love with him..... I know he gets stressed out with working soooooooooo much...and I know he loves me and would do anything for me and our daughter. I weigh the good and the bad, and the good is much better than the bad. Everyone is going to argue and fight, but you have to be strong and considerate and think about your life in general.
    Now if you do all of this and you truly are NOT happy then it may be time to call it quits.
    Good luck to you!
    MyMayBaby_Chloe

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 11:01 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I think the thing that changed my mind was the fact that my husband changed. At the time we had been married about 8 years and we had 3 children at this point. I was tired of always doing everything and being last on his priority list. We got into a huge fight and I said "I thought I could live like this until the kids got older, now I know that I can not. If things don't change then I am leaving" After that fight I slept on the couch for 4 days and we did not talk to each other.

    When we finally did talk we talked about everything and how we ended up were we where at. It was a great conversation and things got much better. That was 3 years ago. I think that because we have started talking to each other and the kids have gotten older it is getting easier. I also think that he realized I was serious and that I was going to leave.

    Good Luck and send me a PM if you have more questions.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:01 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Yes I could probably vouch for any married woman that I have thought about leaving. i didn't leave because I realized what kind of commitment I made and as a Child of God leaving is not an option. You need to realize and something that may help you in times of trial with your husband is that you love him inspite of his faults and flaws. Please check out this website as a christan you should have heard of it...it is called a "Weekend To Remember". My husband and i went when we were to the point of giving up and it truly truly saved our marriage. We have been married for 13 years now and I am proud of the struggle we have gone through because it made us stronger. Go to this website http://www.familylife.com and click on "Weekend To Remember" and you will get all the info you need.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • What is your biggest problem with him? Is it that he doesn't lift a finger to help out? Have you two ever sat down together an asked eachother that? And then find out what he would like for you to do more often or how he would like you to change, and you tell the same thing to him without arguments. In order to fix things you two have to drop the resentment an anger towards one another *freakin hard I know* but in order to really fix things you have to try with a happy heart because you love eachother and he is worth it you are worth it and your kids are worth the hard effort of making your marriage work.
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 11:05 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

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