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HOW DO I GRIEVE THE LOSS OF 38 YR OLD SON

I HAVE 2 SONS, ONE WHO IS ALIVE BUT HASN;T TALKED TO ME FOR FIVE YEARS......HES'S 33 YRS. OLD. THE NIGHT THAT THE LIVING SON LEARNED ABOUT HIS BROTHRS DEATH, HE "STILL" DIDN'T STOP BY TO COMFORT MYSELF OR MY EX HUSBAND.......IF THIS IS NOTMAL FOR ANYONE, I'D LIKE TO KNOW, OR AM I JUST NUTS????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Jul. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • This is Completely Normal for him to do this. He is Grieving in his own way and taking it really hard, this is his brother! Everyone Grieves in there own way and there own time. He'll come around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Maybe you should contact him. If you haven't spoken in 5 yrs.... well, someone has to pick up the lines of communication. He is hurting too. I don't know what its like to lose a child or a sibling, but I imagine both suck pretty bad!
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 12:23 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • You should all seek the advice from a licensed counselor. You lost a son, he lost a brother. You both have issues that are painful, but need resolving. Good luck to you and your family.
    Teens-n-Twins

    Answer by Teens-n-Twins at 12:29 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I can't speak for the grieving the loss of the son who died but I am with ya on the one where the living son won't talk to you. Mine hasn't spoken to me in 10 yrs and won't tell me why. I know he is ok. I hear about him via his sisters but he won't speak even if we run across one another when I travel back to my homestate where he lives. They simply have to work out their issues and we have to leave the door open for them when they do. Hugs, Addie
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:59 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I agree with Addie, when someone doesn't speak to you leave the door open and let the rest take its course. My dad did that for my brother and my brother never came around. However, before my dad died he had peace knowing he forgave my brother. On the other hand my brother is a bitter old man...Who always takes his anger out on us his sisters and mom. So he couldnt forgive himself for not have a relationship with my dad and we all have to hear about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • As the daughter of a situation like this I'm suggesting to try to break the ice. My father and I were barely speaking because of a big misunderstanding started by a jealous step sister. All I wanted was my dad to ask what was wrong and he finally did in a letter. we still never had the opportunity to sit and talk about it until he was lying in the hospital in a coma. I feel he heard me. He would move his eyes and sqeeze my hand like he understood. My father has been dead for 3 yrs come christmas and I would give anything to go back. I know your son is an adult but that doesn't always matter. Alot of times (not just my case but others I've heard of this) a child of any age wants you to come to them and ask what happened. I hope my story helps you!
    wvmom2

    Answer by wvmom2 at 2:10 PM on Aug. 20, 2008

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