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Why are romance novels and erotica okay for women to read and fantasize about, but it's not okay for men to watch porn? Isn't that a double-standard?

I was watching the Today show and they were talking about the book that's out called "Fifty Shades of Grey" by E. L. James Women are crazy over this series and it's pretty graphic and explicit. So my question is, why is it okay that women read these kind of books yet it's not okay for men to watch porn?

I support anyone's right to watch and read as they please, so please don't think I disapprove of women reading erotic novels. But it does pose as a double standard when we ridicule men for watching the same things we fantasize about.

Answer Question

Asked by Imogine at 11:53 PM on Mar. 2, 2012 in Just for Fun

Level 22 (14,425 Credits)
Answers (31)
  • I guess it's whatever you want it to be. I don't need that sort of thing, so I don't believe in it. That's just me. Carry on....

    Answer by m-avi at 11:56 PM on Mar. 2, 2012

  • Dunno...seems pretty dumb to me. I am not against viewing porn or erotica.... so I am probably a bad person to ask. I will say though that my guess is that the people that find porn wrong are also not people reading erotica.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:00 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • I don't know. I guess in the books we create the image of the characters. In porn there is actual sex and other acts with people and men, being the visually stimulated creatures that they are get off on seeing it before their eyes. The romance novels I read have fluffy sex and I've never got hot and bothered over a sex scene in a Robyn Carr novel. I can see the possibility for a double standard but I don't read those books and my husband us not that into porn for it to be an issue with us.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 12:07 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • my guess is that the people that find porn wrong are also not people reading erotica.

    This ^^^

    Answer by 3libras at 12:14 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • maybe its that within the books woman (i'd like to believe) are faniczing over their partners, crazy sex theywould like to have, have had (maybe if they were a vampire,or a period peice... whatever) with the man they have, where the man is just being a voyer into someone elses sex life. i guess it's because i am a woman, i mean im sure thats what it is, but watching porn isnt much different then putting on binoculars and spying on strangers... weird. one is using your imagination and the other is watching people collect money from having sex in front of a camera. why would tht turn someone on? watching some weird mans penis go in a vagina or two girls rubbin or strapping up weird-lol. Maybe try to include your man in your reading so yous can invisn yourselves and maybe have alittle role play. maybe the characters in your book are exactly like yous.... i dunno. weird. i dont read that garbage but that is just what im thinking.

    Answer by JanuaryBaby06 at 12:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • Very good question - they do say men are move visual, watching a video - woman more romantic and imagination, so reading would lead more to that.

    Answer by SassySue123 at 12:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • January,

    YOu're just defending women. That's all I'm getting from you. If authors wanted women to fantasize about their husbands, they wouldn't describe them as beefy, buff, well-cut men.

    Comment by Imogine (original poster) at 12:34 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • Oh and I wanted to add that women who are reading this novel are suggesting husbands read it as well to get "tips" on being more kinky in the bedroom. Yet, if a man made his wife watch porn to get "tips" on how to be more kinky in the bedroom you can bet she'd be offended and get all insecure and shit.

    Comment by Imogine (original poster) at 12:36 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • I kind of agree with January, that women are more imaginative, so it doesn't seem the same (although it really is!) Book vs. movie, (of course, we all know the book is always better!)

    Maybe the women who want their husbands to read the books to get tips are so insecure that they can't talk about what they want from their husbands. My view on that is that if I can't talk to hubby about it, well, something is really WRONG!! This is a wonderful example of a double standard!

    Answer by 29again at 1:00 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • Do you ladies not watch sappy movies and form emotional attachments to the characters? I mean, hello, the whole Twilight thing speaks volumes. Wouldn't that be considered emotional cheating?

    At least when guys watch porn, they watch it, they get off, and they're done. They aren't emotionally invested in the scene, and they sure as hell aren't walking around wearing "Team Jenna" T-shirts like all of these Twilight twats.

    Before you all get your panties in a bunch, I'm not bashing Twilight, just the ridiculous emotional attachment that grown women have formed over these characters.


    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:05 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

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