Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Do you feel pressured to be a certain type of parent from other mom friends?Do you feel guilt if you aren't?

Answer Question
 
AngiDas

Asked by AngiDas at 4:53 AM on Mar. 3, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,898 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Yes, I do feel pressured, but I don't care and I have no intention to stop my way of parenting to make others feel better. My mom friends seem pretty much not involved with their children whereas I am very involved with mine. We all the time go places and do things and have fun together and they rarely do (not all, but the ones I'm referring to don't). And I'm one of those people who posts everything on FB, so, like today we are going to do some activities at the mall and then go to an indoor play area or two and dinner out, etc, I'll post all that...every now and again I'll get someone complaining how I make them feel bad about their parenting and how I should stop doing so much with my kid. Pathetic...LOL
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 7:04 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • No- not really. I think I've done a pretty good job over the years, so I will just keep doing what I know is right in my heart (& my gut) :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:23 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • No I dont feel pressured because I parent the way I want to parent. I am a sahm and prefer to be one over anything else. At times my mom and other women in my family didnt understand since they didnt choose the same path, but it didnt bother me. Just like I am entitled to my opinions so are they. Most of the people I hang out with parent the same way I do or similarly. The way I see life is unless you pay my bills, sleep with me, are married to me, or came out of me then you really have no say in my life anyway.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:26 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • There is a subtle pressure around here to put our tiny kids in a billion activities. It's a cult of achievement - it's supposed to make them better kids and better in life. It's never really openly pushed - it's just what everyone does. Personally I think my 2 year old needs to spend more time playing with his animals and cars and legos and reading books with mom... I don't think his life would be better if (and I would be a better mom) if I shuttled him to attend piano, dance, swimming, gym, Spanish and art classes each week. I notice the pressure but just keep my mouth shut and smile and nod. I couldn't be that kind of mom even if I wanted to be.
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 7:50 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • No. I raise my kids to be decent kids. Some parents over schedule their kids and are up late doing homework. My kids don't need to have an activity every single day and some have 2 activities after school before homework is done. They don't know the neighborhood kids because they are being taken to out-of-town activities, like swimming, gymnastics or even horse back riding competition. There's also soccer and dance, scouting, Religious school, football, base/soft ball, basketball, tennis and hockey. It's good to have activities but not at the expense of the kids health.
    robinkane

    Answer by robinkane at 7:52 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • No I do not. The only person I tend to feel guilt from not reaching a certain standards is myself.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 8:15 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • No
    Years ago, I was raising my step children. At age 20, I became a mom to a 4 year old and 6 year old. I was much younger than most of the mom's of their friends. When they entered their teen years, I didn't let them do all the wild things the other parents were letting their kids do. Other parents said that I was going to cause them to rebel. It never happened. I was a teacher in their school and saw exactly how the other kids acted and heard their conversations. I was appalled that the other parents thought co ed sleepovers were fine. I was floored that they didn't go in the room where the kids were to check on them. I was shocked that they had no problems with girls in their son's bedrooms and the door closed. They are now 22 and almost 24 and are great young men who know how to support themselves and be responsible. I can't say the same for some of those other kids.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:15 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • Nope. I'm doing the best job I can raising grandchildren. I'm in a completely different 'space' than all their friend's parents.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:31 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • Not at all, I don't even think about it nor do I care. My main goal is to care for my kids the best I can & make them as happy & content as I can. I want them to have a happy childhood. I do what I can when I can. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I would not allow anyone including family members to pressure me about anything regarding my kids. My kids, my choices. Period. If anyone doesn't like what I do then they can go F off.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:09 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

  • Nope, I am by far the most reserved and motherly of all yhe people I usually meet!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 11:47 AM on Mar. 3, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN