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How do we talk with out thinking one another is being selfish? (has to do with a health issue)

Ok so hubby and I have tried to talk about how we are going to go about things since I found out about my IC and everytime we do, I think he is being a selfish jerk and only thinking about himself. So how do we talk about how we are going to get through this without him sounding like a jerk or me taking it that way? Any and all suggestion appreciated!

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Asked by momof51998 at 1:36 PM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Health

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • what's IC? sorry, I don't know

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • What is IC?

    Answer by Bmat at 1:39 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I answered you on the other question category you posted this question in.

    Answer by munch12502 at 1:40 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • IC, is interstitual cystitus, it's a chronic bladder condition

    Answer by momof51998 at 1:41 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • You have to remember that he's probably just as frustrated as you are with it. Just sit down and explain to him your feelings on it, and then ask him to explain his feelings (even though you may not want to listen). It helps when the other person feels like you care about their feelings too.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 1:42 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • He must let you talk and talk about it until you have reached some feeling of having expressed all that you need to. Then he should address your concerns and give you assurances of support. Then he should talk about his concerns and let you have time to address his concerns.

    Answer by Bmat at 1:57 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • You both need to try to see it from the others point of view...and you need to really work on that if you want him to be honest with how he feels, and vice versa. When someone is told their selfish or a jerk when they're being honest, the reaction is almost always to stop being honest. Selfish or not, if it is truly how you feel, then you cannot help that. What you *can* do is try to understand things from the other persons point of view.

    Have you tried going to They have some excellent tips for communicating with your spouse about IC. Here's a link for you:

    Good luck.


    Answer by jespeach at 3:44 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • He could be scared as well. I just went through a rough period concerning my health and found out my husband was more scared than I was. Try to put yourself in his shoes for a minute and ask yourself how you would react if the situation was reversed.
    Also, if it's all your talking about he could just be tired of hearing it. Men for the most part have the attention span of about 10 seconds...anything beyond that they tune out.

    Answer by ashandamymom at 4:39 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

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