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How do you make a relationship work with a bi-polar person?

Everyday is a new day... three days he was here with my son and I and was happy, loving and caring. The next day, he told me that I couldn't cook, so I made plans with him to make dinner but never set a time and was waiting to hear from him to discuss it... I want to make him happy. When I was at the store getting stuff, he called and in a mean voice he say "Your busy, I will call you later." The rest of the conversation was crappy, he was very mean, I cried but I ended up letting him come over. The rest of the night was ok. We made plans for the next day and he ended up being all depressed and didn't want anything to do with anything. Everyday I deal with a different person and I don't know if I can always set what we planned or what I want aside to make him happy. What about my son and I, this is tearing me apart. I'm just so confused.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If he is on meds, his moods should be under control. If he refuses meds or they don't help, then it appears that this relationship is not going to work for you.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:08 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • He says he doesn't need and in order to get better, he needs me to do this and that, be understanding and blah, blah, blah.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • He doesn't need meds or outside help...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • tell him he needs meds (lithium exactly) .... or leave him........... you should be with someone who lifts you up, makes it easier, if someone just brings you down leave them, he may need to hit bottom before he can get better, i know how you feel my mom is bipolar too.... just let him know you WILL not tolerate it and if he keeps taking out his moods on you, you wont be there next time and then ACTUALLY ignore the phone calls and show him you mean business. good luck...


    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:08 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • yeah that's what my step dad says but i can tell you my mother is miserable. so i think you bf and my sd both do meds. they just don't know it. how much abuse do you or my mother need to get the point. i told my mother to give her husband an ultimatum. you want me then you need to take your meds always and if you stop i will stop seeing or being with you. that is what you should do i think.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:26 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I am bipolar. I can tell you that I have NEVER intentionally said things to hurt my husband or loved ones. Sometimes the crazies come out but there are coping strategies that we have to learn to be a part of society. He also needs to know that you ARE NOT his whipping post. Just because he is bipolar does NOT give him a license to be verbally or emotionally abusive or manipulative.
    The truth of it is, he needs to be in counseling, and most likely he needs to take medication. It's part of what we do in order to be with loved ones and have a productive life. Its a choice. He can be with you and have a happy normal life on meds, or he can be a lonely asshole.

    Answer by brokenmelody at 3:59 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I would also like to add, that there are good people who are bipolar, and total assholes who are bipolar. Our personalities come into play alot with our disease.

    Answer by brokenmelody at 4:01 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

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