Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do I stay with him or do I leave?

So it has been a long 18months of marriage. We fight about everything, we hardly ever have sex. And when we do it's quick and I am left feeling empty and used... I have tried over and over again to make this work... I have suggested councling. I have asked him if he loves me and he just kinda shrugs his shoulders at me. I'll ask what that's suppose to mean and he says sometimes I do sometimes I don't. But most of the time your a pain in my ass.. We both came into the marriage with kids but we have no together. While we were dating he promissed me so much. Told me how badly he wanted to make babies with me and since saying I do he has told me after much thought I don't want anymore babies. I know that if I leave it's going to affect the kids but my main concern is my child. I need for her to know what a healthy relationship is so that she can have one. Well there's the background. Thanks for your help

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Suggesting counselling is not enough. Make an appointment and GO!!!!
    What do you figght about??
    What do you TALK about??
    Why aren't you DEMANDING more from sex?? Don't let him inside you until you get off, hon!!
    This didn't start from nowhere - you haven't been married very long. What are the REAL issues??

    Answer by Liyoness at 3:29 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • He will not go to get they say you go...don't think that will work either...A friend of mine tried that...naa they are getting divorced...Do what is best for yourself and your children. You both need a healthy environment. If you feel that you have tried then move on..There is someone out there that is more compatable for you. Someone that will do what he says..

    Answer by Dannee at 3:37 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • What do we fight about everything We fight about who's sleeping where What kids are here and which kids are with the ex'. Of course we fight that we don't have sex as for getting off before he's in not going to happen. He has not ever made sure that I have gotten off before he's in. He will not perform oral and he will not kiss me on the lips. I can ask him to hold me and he say's NO! He doesn't need to or want to. We don't talk I will try and talk to him and he will jump on the phone he'll turn the tv up and if I start a conversation while laying in bed he rolls over and goes to sleep. I am begging to think he married me to have someone take care of his kids when they are with him and to keep the house clean and laundry done. Much more than that and he doesn't talk to me. BTW this is his 5th marriage....

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • if he is not willing to go to counseling after you set and apt i would go tell him nicely and try to avoid a fight by saying i feel that i have reached the end of my rope. i love you but i can't live like this. so since your not willing to go get counseling i'm going to have to leave. then separate for sometime. he may come around and agree to start over with you or not. either way you have to give him the option to do it and try not to control him or change him. so if he doesn't want to change or make an effort have it be on him. he probably can't handle all the kids he's decided the amount you have is enough. good luck. just say i feel statements when you guys talk.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:50 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Ok Enough Said....

    Answer by Dannee at 3:50 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • only you can answer that question hon, if youre done you're done

    Answer by aliciatron at 4:14 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Ordinarily I would argue that you should work on things, but given the more information you have provided, divorce his ass..
    This isn't a simple breakdown in communication, and given the number of times he's been married, he's clearly never going to GET it..
    I'd say that you're in somewhat of an abusive relationship..
    There doesn't seem to be much to work on here.

    Answer by Liyoness at 4:19 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • FIFTH MARRIAGE!!!!! Usually I say give it a chance but damn. He is not even willing to hold you. You know you deserve better and he just needs to stay single till he can get his butt together. He is not even showing he wants to try.

    Answer by pnwmom at 7:48 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • not enough information. sorry. i can' t tell you what to do on that. so i'll say do you want it to work or not?

    Answer by princezzmommie at 9:00 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • kids need both parents but if he dont love you then you dont need to be with him

    Answer by henderson20 at 7:12 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.