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Why do people talk before they think?

My dd is 3 and is so sweet and loving. But we have been dealing with behavioral issues possibly mild autism. She attends her 3 year old preschool class at the school I teach music at. Everyone who works with me KNOWS what we deal with from day to day. But yesterday the dietitician who sometimes watches the kids in the morning told me, "Maddie was just terrible today, horrible" and continues on with a lists of wrongs my child has done. I almost burts into tears, It hurt so bad to hear such bad things about your baby.
We are doing all we can to help her and people just have no idea how hard it is and how stressful it can be.....I still am hurt.....Why do people want to hurt others? Dont they realize she is my baby and I love her and want to be proud of her not ashamed of her behavior that we have struggled soooooo hard to correct? My heart is sad....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • sounds like she just wants to feel better than you. Theres a lot of people who like to do that. Just ignore it i know that is hard to do. Our take her aside and tell her how she made you feel hearing that.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 4:54 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • remind her that you are aware of your daughters problems and you are getting her help. Thank her for telling you but ask her in the future if she could please keep negativity of your daughter from you.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 4:58 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • sometimes people don't know the harm they are doing. i sometimes blurt out things without thinking. i'm sure she didn't do it to hurt you. she is just not aware of what she did and said could be harmful. i would just not talk with her anymore if you can do so. otherwise just tell her what she says hurts your feelings cause you love your precious baby. every baby is precious no matter the limitations they may or may not have. my daughter is slow to talk and she is almost 3. she gets her speech therapy but i have yet to feel bad from someone being so insensitive. some people have not been taught by parents not to do or say such things.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:07 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • toughen up honey. could be the dietician was just trying to keep you informed of the days events. you said she watches them in the am. so she knows what your child's good behavior is.
    kudos to you for wanting to protect and take up for your kid. but if someone says your child was "horrible", they probably have reason. i'd find out what happened exactly and try to fix it. find out if there was a stimulus that provoked the behavior.
    this is gonna sound mean, and i dont' mean it to, but just because you are willing to let your kid slide on all kinds of things because of their disabilities doesn't mean the rest of the world will.
    if i misunderstood what you were saying i apologize. but parents who think thier kids do no wrong, do not help those kids.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 8:26 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • i just reread it and i don't think i misunderstood.
    you should be proud of her. you can be proud of her while not being proud of her behavior.
    i'm not trying to bash your daughter or you. i'm really not. but anyone who uses the word horrilbe to describe a three year old's behavior has a reason to use that word. its a strong word, honey.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 8:29 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

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