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Too Young for a Vasectomy

My husband is 22 and wants to get a vasectomy. We had a daughter before we got married (opps!) when we were both 19, and now that we are married we have another one on the way (which will be our honeymoon baby girl). I defintely don't want any more children any time soon, but he's adamant about only having two kiddos. I don't know if I 'm even sure I want that... I wouldn't mind trying for a boy.

He would like to have the operation after the baby is born, before he's 23. Does anyone think that's too young to decide to have such an operation? He said there's a chance it can be reversed, or we could adopt (He's adopted), if we chose to later. Do you think he should wait and get a little older before he decides something like this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Jan. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Well, first reversals can be expensive, and don't always work. Um, personally, I think that he's is a little too young, but that is just my opinion.
    JennRN09

    Answer by JennRN09 at 5:10 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I think he's a bit young too. Just get the Mirena IUD to last 5 years and see how you guys feel after that.

    My husband had his done when he was 30 and has 3 kids with me and 1 prior. They CAN be reversed, but it is expensive and doesn't always work. Adoption is great but most people can't afford it!
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 5:12 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • Honestly I would wait, you never know what you will decide to do later. My husband and I agreed not to do anything permanent when we got married , after 13 years together we changed our minds and it was the right decision but we took a year to make the final decision lots of talks. there are risk for him to consider as well as changing your mind later.


    We were told reversal is expensive and rarely works. If I were in your position I would wait, your young and life can change over a period of years and you both may feel differently later. On the plus side most states require both a husband and wife's signature to perform the operation so you will both have to agree to it.

    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 5:14 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • He may not want anymore children now but may change his mind in the future. I think most doctors require some sort of counseling before they perform the operation.  I do understand how he feels you have two children and he is happy with what he now has.  Nothing is wrong with adoption there are many children out there who are in need of loving homes.  Maybe your husband wants to give back because he was adopted.  Keep communication open, think of the pro's and cons and hopefully you can come to a decision together.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 5:16 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I would wait....my dh is 30 and we are almost sure we are done with children. But he still sems soooooo young at 30....so your dh seems VERY young.
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:20 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • It's his choice, but I know I have changed a LOT since 23 (I'm 29 now) and that is a big decision to make and possibly regret later on. But again, I guess it's up to him!
    Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I would also do the IUD or some other form of reversible but effective birth control. You are both very young and have a lot of fertile years ahead of you. I know I've changed opinions about things multiple times since I was 23... when I had my second baby I was POSITIVE we were done having kids, but we happily had number three a couple of years later. Now I am 31, about 99.9999% sure that we are done having kids, but we are still holding off a few years before doing anything permanent.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 5:56 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • I would ask him to wait as well. I know when I was 22, I still didn't even think I wanted kids at all! A couple of years later, that changed. (Had my first at 25). My husband and I have been talking about this as well. We have two, he says that's all he wants and he wants to have a vascectomy. I'm just not quite sure. It seems so final to say we're done forever! You could always try an IUD for a while just to be sure.
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 5:57 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • If he is talking about a possible reversal, he probably shouldn't be getting one in the first place.
    LovinMyMikayla

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 7:11 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

  • The man knows what he wants. I'd respect that decision. It's his to make.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:13 PM on Jan. 20, 2009

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