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what do you do when your teen daughter wants to live with her father that lets her run around all the time?

she wants to be with him cause there are no rules.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:00 AM on Jul. 19, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • Just say no.
    idahospaz

    Answer by idahospaz at 7:00 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • No, no, and no. Of course it is mainly because she wants her freedom, thinks she can take on more freedom, and gets it at dads. I must know where my teen is at all times, who she is with, and where she will go next. She too lives with me and her dad has her every other weekend. I am fortunate because he & I are both keeping tight reigns on her. Mainly we commit to communication between us to be sure she isn't trying to put something past us. If she knows we are going to discuss her behavior and compare, she tries to get away with less each time.

    We can only do so much though. Youth group has been so helpful. I want her to learn there's so much more to life than looks and hanging out with friends. She is learning she is special and she will prosper through the good morals we have taught her. They are so easily influenced it is up to us parents to decide by what or whom.
    luv2salsa

    Answer by luv2salsa at 8:59 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I'm sure you're not alone in this problem :0(
    If you visit www.smalleyonline.com they have a section for parents that might be helpful.

    My advice is to keep your head up and continue to offer (whether it is only when she calls or visits) a stable healthy environment.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:35 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Does her dad want her to live wth him? I can pretty much guarentee she'd be there for a couple weeks, then he'd realize that she does need rules and he'd start enforcing them. Then she'll want to come home to you.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 3:54 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Well you said it best. She wants to be with him because she gets to do whatever she wants. She needs to be with you so that you can monitor who she is with and where she goes. Keeping her safe is the best thing that you can do as her mother besides loving her. Visits with her dad are important but she needs to be with you most of the time....
    taracv

    Answer by taracv at 4:41 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Just saying "NO" isn't always the answer. I let my daughter move in with her Dad. He gets to take care of her during her last year in High School. I have taught her right from wrong, good from bad, the in's and out's of life. I brought her up in church so she knows all that. She needs to learn about her Dad on her own. I have neither good nor bad to say about him. I do wish him Luck because I know our daughter, he doesn't. I trust her. She is a good kid, a very good kid. Her grades have always been on the top of the spectrem. Strait A's, she will be the first in my family to go to Collage. I am very proud of her. She knows where I am if she feels she needs me. She knows my e-mail addy and has my phone number. She is all grown up now, she needs to learn from him now. I pray G-d takes good care of them both and help them down there walk in life... Just my opinion...
    Hadassah_Kay

    Answer by Hadassah_Kay at 12:12 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • I would definitely talk to him privately about this, preferably with a counselor as a mediator. This way your ex can see that she is really needing all the guidance she can get at this point in her life. Teens, all children really like it when they have limits, inspite of how they act around their parents. A counselor can tlka to both of you and have you both agree on what's best for your daughter, from rules, curfews, and so on. If this is impossible, then you need to talk to one another about how important it is that both of you agree with each other on different issues. I would meet with him first to discuss things, then present yourselves to your daughter. When she sees that you both agree and have the same view on things, she won't have anyone to run to that has a different view. Good luck.
    Amy1022

    Answer by Amy1022 at 8:43 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

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