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how can i get out of an abusive relationship ...please help me

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Asked by topaz7671 at 5:34 AM on Jul. 19, 2008 in Shopping

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Answers (14)
  • My ex was not phys abusive, but was verb & emo abusive. Abuse is defined as a means for one person to control another person. When I left him last yr I had no money for divorce, so I called Legal Aid. They directed me to the Women's Crisis Center for a referral. I met with the worker at the Crisis Ctr who reviewed my case and vouched that it did qualify as domestic abuse, so that L.A. would take my case. I got a divorce for free! Also, at the Cri Ctr, I recieved free councelling for me and my son, and they have a safe house for women who need a place to stay. It's at a secret location and not open to the public. You have to go to the C.C. office and they set you up with it. They will not tell ANYONE that you are there! My local C.C. is a County service, and L.A. is a State service. If you call your local Women's Crisis Center, they can give you all the # and addresses you need.

    Answer by smtowngrl at 6:36 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Start saving money that he can't get to. Call shelters and ask what they suggest. Check out how much it will cost to rent. Apply for any assistance you qualify for. Ask you family for help. And once you go don't turn back. He won't and can't change when he comes begging without intensive professional help, which he most likely won't even attempt to get. File a personal potection order. Write down the dates and details of abuse in a journal for evidence. I hope you can leave sooner than later. Be strong.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 8:48 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Search Answers under abuse- there are tons of good answers.

    My fav has been "pick up your keys, get the kids, get in the car and leave".

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:33 AM on Jul. 19, 2008


    Answer by anh2231 at 3:54 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • when you love someone. Those emotions that you feel make it hard to leave. Just because you feel love for this person doesnt mean that their heart is feeling the same way. My auntie, always told me. "You'll never leave until you've had enough." She is right! Once you've had your full share of it. You'll know how to leave. I was afraid to leave. I didn't know how to be with out him. Why give your life for a man who hurts you. When you have babies who need you. In all things, put your full faith and trust in GOD. He will be your strength, your rock. GODs love will never end. GODs love will never waiver.

    Answer by kwkwmom at 11:16 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • call your local domestic violence shelter or 1-800-799-7233 or for the National Domestic Violence Hotline and talk with them. I have a group for women in these situations if you want to join or if you want someone to talk with just PM me. Hugs, Addie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:14 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • My answer is in three parts due to length.

    First off you have several options, but first I must say you have children if you have endured the abuse when your children where in the house and have yet to leave him you are considered an abuser for "neglecting" your children by staying in a potintially dangerous situation. Alot has to do with what state you are in due to laws. Do not call child protection unless you have already removed yourself and your child or children from the situation they may just remove the child from both you and your ex. the only time you can really call the police is when or during a situation of domstic violence IS OCCURING.

    Answer by DTavey at 10:20 AM on Jul. 22, 2008

  • Your best option is to remove your self and your child or children from the home to a location that he your spouse or ex does not know of. You are the only one who is able to do anything about the situation it is up to you, call a DV hotline they have some links on , do not tell anyone where you are not family or friends just tell them that you are safe and that your children are safe ( THIS IS VARY IMPORTANT) I do not know the situation you are in but if it has happened once it will happen again , it gets progressivly worse.

    Answer by DTavey at 10:22 AM on Jul. 22, 2008

  • As a mother you have the right to protect your children and your self , after verbal abuse comes a slight shove then a push then a punch to your face or your baby in your womb it is a cycle first the honey-moon then the build up then an explosion then its "Im so sorry babe it wont happen again" but it does he will get you flowers or something and you are at the honey-moon stage again each time this happens it will get worse and become more and more frequent . Odds are he does not like you to talk to your family and does not really let you leave the house without him and if you do he probably gives you limitations and asks twenty questions on what you did ,who you were with ,what route you took who you saw on the way who you called then might even say that he knows alot of people around , which is an intimidation tacktic.

    Answer by DTavey at 10:23 AM on Jul. 22, 2008

  • You must remember to stay calm, do not look back leave your phone blackberry etc... do not stay in the same town DO NOT TELL ANYONE WHERE YOU ARE GOING JUST THAT YOU HAVE LEFT TELL A FEW PEOPLE THAT YOU WILL CALL THEM ONCE EVERY THREE MONTHS AND IF THEY DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU WITHIN FOUR MONTHS TO CALL THE POLICE. though he is their father he should not show them that abuse is ok , when you find a new place go to the police there and tell them the situation and ask them for assitance tell them it was DV which is taken seriously no matter where you go . the fact that you remove yourself from the situation first has alot to do with what help you will recieve. I would tell you how I know all of this but I think that my answer pretty much explains it all If you live in California get out now , just leave. The state of Californias child "protection agency"will take kids in to custody like wild fire.

    Answer by DTavey at 10:23 AM on Jul. 22, 2008

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