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Help with my 9 year old...

Okay he is my oldest son, so everything that he is going through is new to me. He went from an all AB student to (we moved to a new school this year) to mostly F's with a couple D's. I have done everything so make this transition the smoothest. we are almost to his 3 marking period here. he did start at the beggining of the school year. he is very unorganized. he never seems to have homework ect. he fights me non stop about everything i ask him to do for school ect.

he is very argumentitve. he constantly pics on his sister. he lies and is very untrustworthy. this behavior started when he turned nine and started school this year. i just want to break down and cry. sometimes i feel like i just want to say screw it to but i know i can not i will not let my child down that is why i need some suggestions.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Jan. 21, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • He's probably just starting to rebel...i wouldn't worry to much. Try finding out whats going on at school...he might be having trouble there and bringing it out in a neg. way. Transitions are hard for kids and he might just be letting you know this the hard way. Try talking to his teachers if he wont talk to you.

    Answer by mamatobe1989 at 9:24 AM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Just talk to the teacher about the homework and start sending a planner she has to sign and you have to sign. She can make sure all his homework is listed and any he might be missing, that way you have a good idea of what hes up to and isnt up to. She can also tell you if this attitude is at school too or not. My kids had to change schools around that age and their grades plummeted too. They rebounded though and were fine. Change is very hard on people, and kids are no different. You have to maintain consistency through it all even when he is rebelling so he knows he wont get away with it later in his teen years. If hes showing signs of depression (and he is they dont get bummed they act out) you can also ask his pediatrician about it.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:47 AM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • He's going through the emotions a normal 9 year old boy would go through. Not all but there are many. My son experienced this at age 8 and I had to lay down the law on him. Sit down and talk with him. Ask him what is bothering him. We as parents believe we are doing the best sometimes but it's not what the kids are asking for. My son let me know that. He will be 11 this year and has been getting the good grades along with giving respect. He knows momma and daddy don't play. Let him know there will be consequences for every f d or c he brings home and if there is no good report on a daily basis from teachers there are consequences along with that. Stick to the punishment and make sure you talk with him for every episode. Good luck

    Answer by MrsTGray at 10:52 AM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • i have a 9 yr old daughter..she is my 3rd.i can tell you i think it is the new this age kids want to fit in.not really cliques but just have friends.maybe he feels like he doesnt.or some one is saying something.i would ask him what he likes to do.sign him up for a sport in the or soccer. something in the town where he can be with his peers.or even boyscouts.its mellow and the kids are sapposed to be nice.ya he is rebeling against something...go up to the school if you think it is a real problem...

    Answer by blsource at 12:25 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • maybe he is being that way because he having a hard time making friends fitting ajusting to the school and ask for a home work planner for you and the teacher to sign also talk to the teacher to see if something is bothering him at school talk with the teacher to see how is adittude is at school talk with your child to see whats bothering him let him know the conseiqences let him know you dont play when it comes to his grades help him bring his grades up

    Answer by henderson20 at 12:27 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I think I would ask for a conference with his teachers and the school counselor. This school may be a lot harder than his previous school and he may not have the skills he needs. Ask the teachers what can be done to help him and is he receiving any interventions. Has he made new friends? Invite some friends home from school. It's hard moving to another school and starting over making friends.

    Answer by Lisahi at 9:14 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I would sit down with him and have a "heart-to-heart" talk with him about what he thinks the problem is. I would also meet with his teacher and school counselor to try to come up with a plan to help him succeed in his new school.

    Answer by NicksSUSmom at 11:21 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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