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I need advise on the 1st born reverting and acting like a baby.

My cousin has a 5 1/2 yer old daughter and is expecting a son in March. Her daughter seems to be taking this pretty hard and is reverting. She has been sucking on passies, pooping in her pants and he speech level has really dropped. It was such a cause for concern that her teacher had a conference with her mom. Anyway, she doesnt know what to do, and I'd love to help, however, thats nothing that Ive gone thru before. Any suggestions?

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Asked by JessicaD1108 at 11:54 AM on Jan. 21, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • where is she getting the passies? is she using the baby's stuff? i would first of all, have her clean herself in the shower when she poops on herself. make her do as much as she can, then tell her how she is too big for such and mommy doesn't clean up big girls only babies. my oldest did similar things. and maybe call the pediatrician and ask them what they suggest in similar situations. i am sure they have seen this more than once. also, mommy could give her a baby that will be the same sex of her bro/sis, and let her be that baby's mommy because big girls take care of babies not act like them. Good luck, these things helped w/ us, many moons ago.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 12:32 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Put the pacifiers away so she can't get to them. She should talk to her about her feelings "Are you sad about the new baby? Why?" "Do you feel like your relationship with mommy will change?" "Are you afraid you won't be my special girl anymore?" ect. when the answers come out, she should issue reassurance and continue to do so. A great way for big sisters to adjust to a new sibling is to celebrate being a "big girl." Take her shopping and let her pick out a "big girl" outfit. Give her room a mini "big girl" make-over. Let her know that she can't have these things unless she acts like a "big girl." Let her be a part of getting ready for the baby. Ask her to help fold the baby's clothes with you or select between two outfits for the baby at the store. Make her feel that the baby's birth is a family event that could not be done without her...without who she is, at the age she is, right now.


    Answer by NovemberLove at 3:29 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Thanks so far ya'll. This is good advise. The only thing that my husband and I could think of was A.Spankings, or B.Special one on one time doing just what she wants (outside of the house) lol, like John and Kate do on John and Kate Plus 8! Keep the advise comin! Thanks.

    Answer by JessicaD1108 at 3:57 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I think I would say things to make her feel good about being a big girl.Brag on her abilities.She wants attention any way she can get it and is naturally jealous. i would also involve her and say I am sure going to need my best big girl helper with OUR baby.Involve her in helping you by bringing you a diaper or wipes.When you make bottles let her sit them in the refridgerator.and then when talking to baby acknowledge to the baby your sissy helped make you milk she's a great sissy!
    Oh she will start to feel better.Use a little physcology.

    Answer by summerray5 at 6:03 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • For a child that has been the only one for that amount of time will naturally be afraid of losing the attention she's had. There's probably a lot of talk about the new baby coming and getting things ready and this is hard for a child her age to process. It probably feels the same as if another woman was moving into your house and you would have to share your husband with her. I think the special time together with you and also with her dad would be good. Let her help with getting things ready for the baby. Let her help pick out the babies outfit to come home in, etc. Talk about how much the baby will love her and will learn from her since she is a big girl. I encouraged the family to always give attention to the oldest child firstwhen the baby comes home.

    Answer by Lisahi at 6:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Regressing is perfectly normal especially if the child is used to being the baby of the family or the only child. The teacher should understand if she knows the reason why. Instead of dealing with the behavior in a negative way, try explaining the pro's of being a big girl. Big girls get to do fun stuff that babies don't & big girls get to be mommy's helper. My 4 year old daughter LOVES it when I ask her to 'babysit' for me by watching the baby sleep for a minute while I go to the bathroom. She may need to be coaxed out of the baby behavior by being rewarded for big girl behavior. Like 2 M&M's for going potty in the toilet instead of her pants or a high five for talking right instead of like a baby.

    Answer by Vballchick at 8:09 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Ya'll have had some great insite, I gave my cousin the advise. So, hopefully she takes it, and tries some of the things mentioned above. Thanks.

    Answer by JessicaD1108 at 10:08 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Wow, you guys are all really nice. Much nicer than I would be in this situation. So let me just offer my own more "tell it like it is advice." My daughter did the same thing when our third child was born. I sat down with her and told her that her time as a newborn was done and that we all grow up, and that being a big girl is a great thing to look forward to. I told her that although she will always be MY baby she isn't A baby anymore. I recognized that her behavior was a ploy for attention, and I discourage any of my kids to have a "me me me" attitude, selfish behavior is bad behavior in this house. I did reassure her of our love for her but made it very clear that her acting like a baby was selfish and wrong and that if she continued to do it she would be punished for it. The next time she did the baby talk, she recieved a consequence. It didn't take long for her to stop. Now she is a great big sister.

    Answer by puddleybug at 11:18 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

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