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Kind of confused.

Ok, my fiance and I have been together over a year and now we're expecting. Because I'm high risk, I've been on and off bedrest for most of my pregnancy so far and I'm only 15 weeks. The problem I'm running into is, I want to be able to do more around the house, and I do as much as the Dr lets me do or I find a way to do a little more without actually causing myself more strain than he reccomends, so really I'm doing as much as I can, BUT my fiance thinks I just want to be lazy. I feel bad enough that I can't work, but I do try to do what I can around the house, he's been working overtime so I feel even worse when I lay on the couch most of the day. He never hears what the Dr says because he's always working and can't get off to come with me. Is he over reacting or am I really just lazy?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Jan. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Call your doctor, explain the situation as you have here, and ask your doctor if he/she would be willing to call your fiance in the evening when he IS home, so he can understand the reason for your needing to be on bed rest and why you CAN'T do more around the house!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 12:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • You need to tell your husband to either call and talk to the doc or shut the hell up.You are taking care of your baby and that is far more important than any demands a grown man may have.Make an appt at a time when dh CAN be there,or call doc when dh is home and just hand him the phone.I'm sorry you are dealing with this but I will say it again HE IS WRONG do not let him make you question yourself.Men are such jerks sometimes.Geez whats he gonna do when you have the baby and are so tired your legs will not carry you?Is he going to bring you the baby or just sit there saying"you're lazy?" jerk.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • He is over reacting, and he needs to take a day off and go to a doctors appointment with you so that he can hear him say it himself.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I think that he is being selfish. You really need to follow the Dr's orders and do what is best for you and your baby. I am sorry that your bf doesn't understand your need to be on bed rest. Can you show him a note from your dr. explaining reason for bedrest? Good Luck to you..

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • No you are not lazy, you are doing what the doctor told you to do..You are having his baby...what is his problem. He should be rubbing your damn feet.
    It is a shame that your finance...does not believe you.

    Answer by Dannee at 12:56 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I'd seriously be rethinking getting married to this "man."

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • The doctor would not have put you on bedrest unless he had a reason.Thats #1 . 2nd, if he is your fiance now,what will happen if you 2 get married. You are seeing him now in an easier light and he is making you feel bad because you have a high risk pregnancy. Right now all you need to do is think about having a healthy baby. After the baby is born you need to rethink marrying him. I am not saying this to hurt you, but, I don't want you to get any more grief if you get married.I am sure if you could work you would. He is also got a big load, but, unfortunately he is taking it out on you in the wrong way. You have a lot of thinking to do, but, right now concentrate on having a healthy baby.

    Answer by Kat122 at 12:57 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Damn she should not have to give him a note from the doctor..he should believe her..

    Answer by Dannee at 12:59 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Did you explain things thoroughly to him? I mean its his kid you're talking about. Does he care enough for the well being of the baby inside you? I can't believe he would think you are just being lazy. Did you get something in writing from your Doc as proof you need bed rest and that you are high risk? I think you should get some proof in writing.
    Don't strain yourself and obey Doctor's orders! do not feel guilty because you can't get things done around the house at this point your baby's life is at risk. So what's more important?? try to get some family to help you out maybe volunteer to clean your house once a week or couple times a month until you are able to do it on your own, when Doc says its ok. As for your fiance, I would have a very serious talk with him. Set your foot down and defend your baby's life and if he wines about the stuff around the house not getting done, then tell him to hire you a temporary nanny.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • What a jerk, seriously when I was pregnant with my son my SO was great he did come with me to all my Dr's appointments so he knew that I was high risk, but even then I wasn't on bed rest, and he still would always say to take it easy, because he was understanding of the situation, your finance needs to stop being a jerk and next time you have an appointment do whatever possible to get him to go with you so he hears it from "the horses mouth"

    Answer by hautemama83 at 1:05 PM on Jan. 21, 2009