Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If you gave up a child for adoption would you ever consider adopting?

I wonder if anyone who gave up a child has ever went on to later adopt a child. Someone made the insinuation that since I gave up a child once, that I would not be allowed to adopt one later in life if I chose to. I wondered if that were true? I have had infertility problems & actually played around with the idea of being a foster mom. If I disclose I am a birthmom would that affect it?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Jan. 21, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I see absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, it may benefit you by knowing birthmotherhood first hand and you can apply that to the adoption. If for some reason I could not carry a child later, I'm not going to lie I would most likely adopt and I am a birthmother. If anything I think it would help me realize how important open adoption is in infant domestic adoption.

    Answer by lillie023 at 2:51 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • i really doubt that. i would consider it but can't answer your question. i think if a birth mom picked you or you'd foster i don't think they would care as long as you provided a home for needy child. you can look up rules and guidelines for fostering and adoption. i was going to do that and i never saw anything that said i couldn't do it due to that. although i can't for another reason. not for what your asking though. i think that person is ignorant.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I'm a birth mother as well, and I have not adopted a child. I have thought about doing foster care as well but have not really looked.. However I don't think that because you willingly relinquished a child that foster care would be out of the question, unless your rights were terminated by the state for reasons such as neglect and abuse.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Since most women who give their child up for adoption were most likely in their teens/early 20's I seriously doubt that they would hold that against anyone. You would have to disclose it and they will want you to talk about it to make sure you're ok emotionally but I don't feel that they would hold it against you.

    Answer by baconbits at 1:58 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • OP here: I was 20. I am now nearly 40, married, etc. I think maybe I would rather foster a young child rather then a baby though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I have a friend that is a first mom and an adoptive mommy! GL!

    Answer by mcginnisc at 2:47 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • FYI: There is a group on that is for birthmothers who are adopting.
    I don't know if it gets alot of action, but here is the link

    Answer by luckyshamrock at 2:50 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Will you ever see the child you gave up for adoption? If so you have to also consider how that child might feel about you doing such a thing. I was adopted because my mom died of cancer and my dad was a horrible father-but if he later turned around and adopted another kid I might harbor some ill feelings regarding that. Just a truthful thought. Please don't take it as anything other than an opinion.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I certainly hope they wouldn't hold it against you! You might be interested to know that about 40% of birth mothers go on to experience secondary infertilization due to their experience.. Don't tell you about that at the adoption agency do they!

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:19 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I know several birth moms who have adopted. Being a birth mom has nothing to do with your fitness as a parent.

    Answer by Southernroots at 9:52 PM on Jan. 21, 2009