Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my almost 5 year old is doing this new thing...need some help!

If I get after my almost 5 year old he will wine at me and ask things like "does that mean you don't love me anymore" or "Does that mean your not my Mommy?" or "Does that mean you hate me?" or "Does that mean you won't feed me ever?" In the begining I would tell him that I don't want to hear that nonsense and I get after him because I love him, I care about him and want him to learn right from wrong. When I tried that approach the questions just got worse. So I stopped answering him, and am now just moving on. Telling him to stop saying stuff like that didn't help eaither. I know its a manipulation game, but I need it to STOP!

Answer Question
 
Alaska_Moma

Asked by Alaska_Moma at 1:03 PM on Jan. 21, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • He's just trying to make you feel guilty. Kids I tell you....lol
    Just ignore him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • He seems pretty bright to work that angle so young. What if you just answer "no it doesn't" without any elaboration? Would he still go on and on?
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 1:07 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • just give him a blunt straight forward answer and tell him we dont whine and then ignore the behavior theless attention you give it the less it pops up.
    Alexsmom07

    Answer by Alexsmom07 at 1:12 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • lol clever lil monkey huh mom?Hey you know he doesn't mean it, he knows you love him.Try this sometime when he says "so you won't give me no food ever" say right back w/a smile"nope thats it for you."he will either look at you and realize you are on to his game or freak out.If he freaks out you can say"oh see how sometimes we say things that hurt peoples feelings?that is how mommy feels sometimes because you know I will always love you and take care of you." He is definantly smart, and it may make him think before he says it again.Maybe it is a game for him to get reassurance?Who doesn't like to hear..."I will love you always" from someone...hang in there mom...kids are great but they drive us crazy.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Just out of curiosity...when's his bday, what zodiac sign is he??? Gemini's have a VERY vivid imagination and are said to be the best manipualter's of the zodiac and are very good with they're word's!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • he is very bright (started talking at 3 months, could do two worded sentences by 6 months and by one could do full 4-5 worded sentences by 12 months) If I tell him to knock it off he will just keep repeating the question, I ignore it and get the same effect. But, your right, it is a guilt trip, and I almost fall for it, or at the very least it makes me 2nd guess myself inside my head.
    Alaska_Moma

    Answer by Alaska_Moma at 1:16 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • have you tried standing him in the corner for a little while after you have asked him to stop doing what he is doing? and maybe he will understand that you mean business if you attach a punishment to his behavior.

    mrssundin

    Answer by mrssundin at 3:18 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • my son did the same, he said"does this mean u don't love me anymore?" i have been able to stop it by putting him in time out without answering his question. then when he is finished with his time out i tell him that i will love him forever no matter what but that i get frustrated when he doesn't do what i ask of him. so that only lasted a little over a month. i also made sure at random times to just say, "I love you forever!" so he doesn't question it as much.
    AedonsMommy

    Answer by AedonsMommy at 4:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • You reacted the first time thats why he keeps doing it- lol. I would just kiss him and say "no silly I love you"..if he said it again- I'd say "no", and if he continued I'd say- "ok, so what should we do next, I'm bored." Totally change the direction of conversation on him. He sure is clever! : )
    litstargazer

    Answer by litstargazer at 4:16 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • When my kids asked that "Why doesn't anybody love me?" I answered "I love you, I just don't like the action (hitting your bro, kicking the wall, whatever) you are doing". this usually got them thinking that the action was bad, not them, and they would stop that action. Of course they would find another action that would get my goat, but hey, that is what kids are for. lol.
    Caoimhe_Oona

    Answer by Caoimhe_Oona at 10:05 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.