Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I hold my first grade DD back?

Well my daughter seems to be doing fine in the Academically in class, but her maturity is really lacking. She is friendly and pretty outgoing. She can be a little bit to clingy with the kids at schools who are her "friends" wanting to hold thier hand and hug them ,etc. I think the kids are turned off by this and in turn they are starting to no want to hang around her.

She also has had a few accidents this year and I think the kids give her a hard time for that.

Today I saw her go up to a girl I thought was her friend push her today when halle walked up to her and tried to play with her.

I jus think maybe it is her maturity. She is 6 years old and won't even be 7 until the 3 week of Second grade.

Answer Question
 
deputywife

Asked by deputywife at 1:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • hmm i was held back as a kid and it made school much much easier for me from then on. and when she's older she can skip a grade too. my cousin's dd is back a grade and thank God she is b/c her maturity level is a couple years lower then the rest of her previous class and has been all of her life. it would be so much harder for her now if she was in the grade she was supposed to be in... especially since shes highschool. the kids her age are dealing with things like dating and driving already and she is not ready to handle that yet.
    donnamama

    Answer by donnamama at 1:28 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Why don't you talk to her teacher about it and see what she says. I know in our school children still have accidents in the 2nd grade. I know its a big deal to them but, its really not. And I also look at it this way : My oldest daughter was a young one in school, and she did awesome, my youngest was an older one in school and she did awesome as well,so I would talk to the teacher, and your daughter also.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 1:43 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I agree with Kat122, speak with her teacher.
    Are you a stay at home mom? Do you think you could homeschool for a year or two?
    My dd went to school for kindergarten, but towards the end of the year she was not being given the attention she needed, I was having to stay at school with her and be her teacher; so I figured if I was doing it all I might as well do it at home and in half the time. I spend 3-4 hours M-Th and Friday is an 2 hr review.
    CrzyHome

    Answer by CrzyHome at 2:00 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • its something you should talk to her teachers about, and ask your daughter if she wants that and tell her why you are considering it kids are very attentive.
    JBGmom

    Answer by JBGmom at 2:46 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I agree, talk to the teacher. While there are pros to keeping her back to develop better social skills, there are cons too, especially when she is doing well in school. The teacher will have seen this before and can help you evaluate your options.

    There are also a lot of "help my child develop social skills" books on the market. http://www.amazon.com/Raise-Your-Childs-Social-IQ/dp/0966036689/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1232567438&sr=1-3
    You could get one and work with her for the rest of the year. You still have several months and can decide what to do in May.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 2:53 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I think you should talk to the teachers. if she is doing great with her work then I would not keep her back she may be board next year doing the same thing and you may have issues of a different kind next year. I would wait you have a whille untill the end of the year so I would see how it plays out. Logan had a hard time with kids beating him up last year but this year we are ok. good luck!!!!! I feel for ya.
    shannrae

    Answer by shannrae at 3:56 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I would have to agree with those who have stated that you need to start by talking to her teacher and getting her opinion. If she is doing well acad. and you hold her back next year will be quite boring for her and you may end up with her causing problems in class. I would also suggest you talk to her Dr if the accidents are something new there could be a health prob causing this. Plus the Dr can give you insight on her social development. Is she involved in any organized activities? Girl scouts is a wonderful way for her to develop social and leadership skills while making new friends.There are any number of sports, maybe dance classes something organized but fun where she can practice social skills. Also try to set up a few play dates at your house where you can supervise and coach your daughter on appropriate behavior (ie remembering to respect ppl personal space).
    xmasbaby73

    Answer by xmasbaby73 at 4:24 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Teacher here! I would have NO hesitation in holding her back. It will give her an extra year especially for her age. Also find some other outlets for her to learn some more social skills. Play groups, scouts, dance classes anything she enjoys where sh can be around other kids.

    I am holding my son back in Kindergarten this year ONLY because of his early birthday.

    In my opinion it can only help a child! Good Luck!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:21 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I thank God my mom held me back that one time kids were so mean I needed to strengthen my skills at that age and mature with my peers.I did very good from then on socially and academically.Never failed again.Made a/b honor roll regularly.Made much more friends.
    Good luck on your decision.
    summerray5

    Answer by summerray5 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I wish they would have held my son back. He was always immature for his age and it really affected him in school. Kids are kids and can be mean when someone doesn't or can't fit in. Talk with the school admin and see what they have to say but if it were me and my child I'd have them held back if at all possible. Social skills are too important to ignore.
    dle4125

    Answer by dle4125 at 7:25 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.