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new behavior from almost 5 year old..need help

I posted this earlier today but I don't think I explained it well enough. AFTER I have punished my son for doing something that he shouldn't of (time-out, spanking ect.) he will be crying or whining at me "does that mean you don't love me, does that mean your not my mommy, does that mean I can't be your boy anymore?" I gave in the first few times and would stop and say "you know I love you, or you know I am your mommy" and reinterate that I love him very much, that I spank him or place him in time out because I want him to be good. If I talk, the questions would get worse, so I ignore it, and the questions keep comming, adding to the punishment doesn't help, just esccalates the situation. Talking to him about it when he isn't in trouble about why he says those things doesn't help eaither. I feel stuck...and need the manipulation to stop.

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Asked by Alaska_Moma at 4:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (2)
  • That a toughie! Have you tried bringing in another adult family member in on this? I often find that when I can't get anywhere with my son, I talk to my Mom about it. Then she will in turn talk to him about it. Most of the time it works. Good luck, hon!

    Answer by 2kidsonly2arms at 4:17 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Your child is in "time out " but not really if you are talking to him. The point of time out is to remove him from from people and things so that he can calm down. When you put him in time out, tell him that he cannot talk to you and that you love him and will talk to him when his time is up. Set a timer for five minutes and then leave the room and do not engage in conversation with him at all or look at him. Tell him when you put him there that he can come out of time out if he is quiet until the timer goes off and then he can talk to you. He know that the things he is saying to you will get your attention and it is working for him.

    Answer by Lisahi at 6:28 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

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