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My ex had his significant other around my son, without me knowing.. what should i do?

we have a verbal agreement that our son is not to be around anyone without approval. i have a order in for full custody as of monday march 12th, and this hapened on tuesday the 13th. he lied to me and said she wouldnt be flying in till wed the 14th and he wanted to see our sno before she got here. but he allowed her to hold him and calm him down when he couldnt, showing that he cant take care of him alone.i am very angry with the situation and dont know what to do!!! please help:/

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destiney18

Asked by destiney18 at 6:05 PM on Mar. 15, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 6 (121 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • I don't have any ex's to deal with but it seems to me that if this woman is going to be a part of the ex's life....at some point she'll be a part of your son's life as well. I think it takes a lot of strength and courage from all parties involved to be able to care of a child(ren) when the living arrangements/parents are split. That being said, if she was able to help calm your son, maybe she cares for him too. I understand that you're mad he didn't tell you that she was there but it sounds like she helps and IMO.....kids need all the support they can get growing up these days. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear but I see a lot of children being put in the middle of break ups to have leverage over one parent because of anger and resentment. It's only the kids that pay in the long run.

    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 6:15 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • The problem I would have is he lied to you, Why did he feel like he needed to lie about it? Is there a reason you would have said no about her seeing your son?
    LoViNmYbAbIeSs

    Answer by LoViNmYbAbIeSs at 6:20 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • Maybe he didn't lie. Maybe she came in early to surprise him.

    I also think you shouldn't be such a control freak.

    In addition, can you ALWAYS comfort your child? I know I can't.

    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • i never said she could be around, i said i wanted to be there when they first met so i could see how she is with him. my son is almost 6 months old and needs alot of attention. if he would have run it by me and i would have been there it would have been a differnt story, but we had an agreement that i would meet her first!
    destiney18

    Comment by destiney18 (original poster) at 6:23 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • im not a control freak, im worried about my sons well being, he is 6 months old and cant do anything on his own!!
    destiney18

    Comment by destiney18 (original poster) at 6:24 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • "we have a verbal agreement that our son is not to be around anyone without approval"

    Anyone at all, or just significant others? Has this woman been involved with your ex for a long period of time?

    And, as layh said, sometimes we just can't comfort our kids successfully and, if someone else can, that's awesome
    BrawnwynII

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 6:24 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • yes we have an agreement which he disreguarded! specifically segnificant others, but people i dont know as well and people he doesnt know. family doesnt count. his gf lives in a diffrent state anyway but was here and i didnt know about it because he lied.
    destiney18

    Comment by destiney18 (original poster) at 6:27 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • he admitted to lying, and threw it in my face. i dont trust him! how do i know he will be where he says or be doing what he says, he could be half was cross country with my son and i wouldnt know!
    destiney18

    Comment by destiney18 (original poster) at 6:32 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • Do you have any reason to believe he would go somewhere far away with your son? Has he done something like that before?
    BrawnwynII

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 6:34 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

  • he has lied about what he would be doing and where he would be, and he has multiple reckless driving tickets and didnt buckle my sonin his carseat
    destiney18

    Comment by destiney18 (original poster) at 6:36 PM on Mar. 15, 2012

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