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how do you feel about a mom who abandoned their babys

i was reading a question "stupid teenagers" and this grand mom was wanting to know how to tell the grand babys that mom still loves them. it broke my heart. how can a women have a child and not be there it just upsets me big time. i dont understand. can any one?


Asked by audreymangels at 1:44 PM on Jul. 19, 2008 in About CafeMom

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Answers (16)
  • I think any mother 13yrs old and up aren,t human if they abandon their babys. anh2231 wrote about a 13yr old and rape hey,its still the mothers baby she could get help raising it. There is no good reason to abandon a baby. Sick people.

    Answer by applepie59 at 4:04 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Nope I cannot understand it. I guess as ling as they are abandoning them with a family member that isnt as bad as the girls who leave their babies in dumpsters or in a trash bag somewhere. If people dotnwant their babies there are PLENTY of parents who would take them. My cousin has been trying to adopt a baby for 6 years and no one has picked them yet! If anyone out there doesnt want their baby let me know, they are GREAT people and would give it a exremely nice home.

    Answer by MommyMel03 at 1:49 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I am raising 3 children whose mother abandoned them several years ago at Christmas. It has been hard on everyone but especially the kids. They all call me mom and we work hard everyday to build on our relationships. I cannot understand why she did this and I have tried to find her w/o success. It makes cry when I think about it too much. Mother's day and holiday's are hard on them too. She will never know what pain she has caused them. Anywho, sorry this was so long but I really don't get to let that out.

    Answer by jilisaunt at 1:54 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Good for you Jilisaunt!! I dont know if you know what kind of difference you are makig in those kids lives by being there for them....thank you for being a good person :)

    Answer by MommyMel03 at 1:58 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • When I was 2 months old my BM dropped me off at mt dad's and grandma's house for the night she didn't come back for nearly 2 weeks my Grandma (who become the greatest mother to me) took her to court and got custody (my father was in and out of my life as well). For my years I felt hatred towards my BM because I just didn't get it. Now 26 years later we are trying to have some sort of relationship it will NEVER be mother and daughter though, my other mom has that sadly she passed away this year though.

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 1:58 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Jilisaunt, you're awesome! JustinScottsMom, that is terrible that that happened to you. My mom left me and my brother when I was 11 and he was 5. Although we saw her sporadically and see her all the time now, I have never understood how she did that. I wasn't angry until my own son turned 5 and then I had like these intense feelings of anger because I just looked at my 5 year old son and flashed back to my brother crying for mommy. I don't understand it. I've been poor, in abusive relationships, overworked, etc yet there's nothing that could separate me from my children. Audreymangels, I don't get it either.

    Answer by Gotoyourmoms at 2:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2008


    Answer by anh2231 at 3:40 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I think it is very selfish to have babies and just drop them off with a family member and not return. I think they want to have their cake and eat it too, so to speak. They want to live the carefree single life, and have their children to go back to when they feel like it. Its not fair to the poor kids! I know that family members usually step up, but its not fair to the kids for moms or dads to drop in and out of their lives. I have a cousin who has 4 children. The 2 oldst went about 7 years at one time without seeing her. The 8 yr old hasn't seen or talked to her since he was about 2 or 3. She has the baby. I think she's finally getting her life together (at 33), and I'm so happy for her, but it doesn't excuse how she was to her kids in the past.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 3:56 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • omg!! wat a stupid girl! who would do dat!! i am 16yrs old going on 17 next month. and it never crossed trhough my mind to abort or abandon my son. thats just awful and a sin as well. how can they have a cold heart to do that. i mean being a mommy is the best gift ever!! if they didnt want a child they should have protected them selfs in da 1st place right?

    Answer by mommy_marisol at 4:06 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • We don't know what makes ppl abandon a child/ren. We have not walked in their shoes. Maybe they knew the person they left them with would provide a better home so they did the child a favor in their eyes. I hung in there with all three of mine but that doesn't make me better than anyone who left and hoped for the best for their kids. Maybe they had more faith than some of us do and knew God would provide for them and take care of them. It's not our place to judge. They have to hurt inside to turn from their own child. Pray for their healing and that they find peace and reconcile with the child/ren. Don't hate them, hate their behavior.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:26 PM on Jul. 19, 2008