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How would you deal with this husband issue?

I know I'm really upset with my husband about his Wednesday night poker with the guys. The problem is that I don't feel like I have a right to be upset. I want him to go out and be with his friends. In fact I have encouraged him to make friends for years now. My thing is that wednesday is the only day that we are both off of work. It's the day we hang out and get stuff done for the week. I just wish poker night was any night but Wednesday. He knows I'm upset but says he doesn't know why since I go out every other Monday after work with friends. How would you handle this situation? What should I say, or not say?

Answer Question
 
Purpleivy

Asked by Purpleivy at 10:18 PM on Jan. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Just tell him that wednesdays are an issue for you because it's your "together" time. Let him know you're not trying to stop him from having a poker night with the boys, but a different night would be better.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 10:21 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • If you go out every other Monday, maybe suggest he goes every other Wednesday for poker...
    CaseyErin

    Answer by CaseyErin at 10:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Ask him if there is any way to move Poker night to another night of the week. Just let him know that you value the fact that he has friends, but Weds are the day that you have off together and want to spend it with him. Just try being a little sympathetic to his needs as well.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • So you don't both have weekends off, right? Only Wednesday. It is unfortunate about the poker being only on Wednesday. That you go out Mondays after work is not an issue, the issue is that Wednesday is your only chance to do things together. From what I understand, you are able to do things during the day on Wed, just not in the evening. The poker and fellowship are good for your husband, so (having had a similar experience with my husband, myself) I say send him off with a smile. You have already expressed your feelings. So don't take it any further. Realize that his night out is good for him, and ultimately good for his family since he'll have that time to de-stress. You are a good person to even wonder if you should not say.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:25 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • Tell him weds. is your night together and pick another night for the boys. I don't see why that wouldn't work out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I agree with Casey
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 11:03 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • If nothing else, tell him WHY you're upset. Don't make him guess. He may come up with an idea.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:18 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • My husband and I are only off together on Weds and Sunday. I'd never stand for him taking OUR only day off together and spending it with friends. That to me, is just not right. I am family, his spouse, his best friend. There shouldn't be anything more valuable than that time together. We make sure we get things done though--- but also hit the movies, go out to eat or simply make the most of the time. We don't really make plans with friends during the week b/c our work hours are crazy and we want to make the most out of the little time we actually have. If we do go out with friends, we go together, and honestly its rare. We're just too busy.
    BLoNdIe121679

    Answer by BLoNdIe121679 at 11:38 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • cut him a deal.. tell him every other Wednesday you want you and him time. the other Wednesdays he can have his friends.. that seems fair to me.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:45 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

  • I'm with xxhazeldovexx. You go out every other Monday night, poker should follow along the same lines, every other Wednesday. Then you get 2 Wednesdays a month together and he gets 2 Wednesdays a month with the guys.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

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